"This is a picture of a young girl, who unfortunately due to an accident, her scalp avulsed," kata doktor pakar plastik tanpa sebarang ekspresi.
Huush. Ngeri.
"We succeeded in reconstructing her scalp & face. But she died of brain trauma," sambungnya lagi.
Dekat department Plastic Surgery ni, memang hari-hari tgk benda ngeri. Sama ada orang terbakar, orang putus tangan atau anggota badan yang lain-lain, pesakit-pesakit trauma etc. Tak takut ke? Ngeri, tapi biasa je. Sebab masa 2nd year dulu buat attachment dekat department forensic nampak lagi scary.
Memang ada misconception kalau orang ingat Plastic Surgery ni is all about beauty & perfection ala-ala nip & tuck. *tak pernah tgk pun cerita ni*. Konsep ni hanya bagi negara-negara maju, atau yang tak berapa maju tapi amat pentingkan kecantikan, dan hanya di hospital-hospital swasta.
"Here is a flap that we did to this patient to cover the area where the most of the soft tissue is lost because of trauma.", doktor gerak-gerakkan arrow mouse untuk memastikan kami lihat dengan jelas.
"We took his lattismus dorsi with it's blood supply and reanastomose to the lower limb where it is affected",
Nampak macam seketul daging di jahit dia atas bahagian bawah kaki nya. Nampak pelik sebab daging tu besar. Pelik.
"But doctor, this is not comestic. I mean the scar is...", seorang rakan kami memberi pendapat.
"Yes, I know. For you, this may seems ugly. You see this in a perspective of lay people. For us surgeons, this seems marvelous. We can't leave this area exposed. So, this is better than our alternative option, which is amputation because if it's not covered, it's liable for infection & other complications."
"Can't we do anything for the scar doctor? I mean, in any cases, can't we removed totally all the scars?" rakan yang sangat concern bertanya lagi.
"We can try our best to minimize the scars, and even later on, we have other techniques that can help to remove the scars, but we won't be able to remove it completely like what it used to be,"
Ahhh, Deep sungguh kata-kata doktor ini. Not like what it used to be. Takkan sama macam dulu.
Maka mulalah mindaku menerewang, mencipta quote kreatif yang konon-kononnya deep.
"What is once lost, you can try to retrieve it, rebuild, repair or reconstruct. You may have it back, but it will never be the same,"
Sad. Tapi, mungkin ada baiknya begitu.
Kadang-kadang parut itu perlu. Ia mengingatkan kita pada masa lalu. Sakit. Tapi sebab sakit tu kita tak nak rasa lagi sekali, next time kita dah tahu perkara-perkara yang perlu dielakkan untuk tidak jadi lagi perkara seperti itu.
Sebab kita yang sekarang tak sama macam kita 10 tahun dulu. Kita sekarang tak sama macam diri kita 10 tahun nanti. Parut lama akan sembuh sikit demi sedikit, dan parut baru akan tambah pula.
Our bodies are build to regenerate & repair every wound & every scar. We are that strong.
In the end, aren't we all scarred. But damaged, we are most certainly not.
Because if we are damaged, we're dead already. Literally.