Worrywart

 “When Allah wants to be good to someone, He tries him with some hardship.” (Abu Hurairah)

The front door of a mosque in Medan, Indonesia 2011

General advice from Prophet Muhammad (sall’allahu alayhi wasallam) when you are in distress or suffering from anxiety:

In hadith #599 narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas in Sunan Abu Dawood, The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.

Salam Jumuaah, fatabarakallah.

Lost Love, In Time.

“Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those sense weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
Life has to end," she said. "Love doesn't.” 
― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven


My thirst for adventure is unquenchable. It is what keeps me alive. 
The adrenaline that rushes through your every vein. 
The sweat that runs on your skin. 
The expanded distance that you walk. 
The thoughts just keep flowing.
You know, your existence is significant.

I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was 12.
Now I know, it is not because of my obsession to Relic Hunter. It is more than just a TV series.

Why do I have this affinity to vast empty spaces?
Probably because beyond the never-ending horizon & emptiness,
Lies enchanting stories beyond imagination. 

Beneath the hot fiery sun by the day
And  twinkling stars sputter in colour by the night
Above that crackled barren land
The dryness it brings to your skin & tongue
On my bed of stones,
As I shivered and turned my back to the fierce wind,
I understand now, for what I enjoy most 
is the idea of possibilities that it brings.

As Mr Imad told us the story of Adam & Eve,
After we waited for the sun to set on the English Mountain.
Separated across the continents, yet, manage to find each other.
I wonder why is the first tale on earth, is a love story. Not the murder of Abel by Cain.
A lost love, meant to be found.
A sun rises, and sets, and rises again.

Beautiful Night

73

“The love that defies, the love for two older strangers who came from afar and will already have left tomorrow for a path she would also like to walk. Love prefers adventure.”

-The three forms of love (Eros)

Day 73

Fly Fwen, Fly!

A friend of mine, named Fwen *bukan nama sebenar*, told me how Fwen really wanted to fly during Fwen's childhood days. Fwen really thought of jumping down a cliff and see whether Fwen can really fly or not.

 No. Fwen is not one of the Wright's brothers or sisters.

Today, as I walked in the middle of a busy Cairo's street, After we drank asir that tasted so sweet that I pray it wont cost me diabetes especially since diabetes runs strongly in my family line. Most of us picked asir sobia bifaraullah. 

Oh, where was I just now? Ah yes. Walking down the street, busy road.

I saw a flock of birds flying around as I gaze up the sky. They have this peculiar habit of flying around in circle over & over again. I really wish someone comes up with a scientific explaination for this. For I might then understand why I like to go around in circle too.

One thing I'd never told Fwen is that I know why Fwen wanted to fly like a bird so much. It is so that Fwen can just fly away from somewhere or from something or from someone whenever Fwen feels like to do so, without having to give any explaination at all. For Fwen is a bird. And a bird job is to fly.

First Day, 4th March '13,
Abasiyyah Malaysian Building,
Cairo, Egypt.

Di Mana Bumi Dipijak, Di Situ, tidak semestinya, Hati itu Ada

I've been dormant for awhile. It was a period of abstinence of which I always like to describe.

So here I am, by the end of my 9th Semester out of 12 semester. Just finished my final exam.

Just drained out of all the medical related things after I vomited it all yesterday, on my final paper. Though I do pray it embedded in my mind for the rest of my life.

Just drained out of emotion too, for one by one of my friends went to their respective destinations. It hurts. When you were left all alone. You woke up, with no one beside you. No sound of early morning random laughing. No screaming to each other. No one to solat jemaah with. It just sad. Oh well. It's life. Or, it could be hormonal.

My plan? Well, I'm not very much a planner. After quite some times, I've changed I guess. That doesn't mean I do have a complete plan. I guess, I just love to deny. Or am deeply confused. Most of the times.

Packed my bags, which I've never really packed this much before. I was always a light traveler. But this time, I thought, "Hey, why don't I unleash the feminine side of mine". And plonked everything I own inside a bag, including all the socks that I own, all the lotions, creams, shampoo and an iron, which is hello a very essential traveling item which a typical lady needs. Wow, I've never did this. A new lady achievement, well done!

Thought of bringing all the new novels that I haven't read. But then, a typical lady, won't bring lots of books. That's what a typical nerd do. I guess two will do. Not so much of a nerd.

Plus I would very much want to interact more with the locals, rather than drown myself inside all the fantasies which I found very unhealthy just recently. *Aha, don't want to make it sound sarcastic*

Anywho, Hello World! I hope you do be nice to me. For, I may have forgotten the basic interaction with the homosapiens ever since I was in my cave for the past few months.

Quran 6:11, “Say, Travel in the earth”

On which we establish the knowledge resulting from traveling in an art called “Travel writing”.  Muslims were interested in such art and traveled the earth.  ”Say, Travel in the earth.”

P/S: Jangan lupa to solat sunat musafir. Rugi tak buat. Doa makbul, in syaa Allah. Pray for me too :)

White Winter

Kang Jun Sang atau Lee Min Hyuk.
Dua orang yang berbeza personaliti.
Tapi kalau sayang, tetap sayang juga.
Tak kisah macam mana pun personalitinya.
Tak kisah berubah macam mana pun.

Lama pula tak tulis blog. Hihihi.
Teringat angin lembut sepoi-sepoi bahasa Nami Island plak.
Hrmmm..


P/s: Kan Hur dah cakap, takde orang yg tengok cerita Winter Sonata tak nangis. hehehe. At one point, dia mesti touch at least a slight of your emotion. Especially dengan lagu2 instrumental sentimental dia :P

Mother Of Books

Ohhhh Yessss... The moment when Beast showed the library to Belle, I was literally gasping for air. The view was breathless. Big Time!

I seldom berangan of my dream house. But when i do, i'm not really picky about it. Just a small simple cozy house, with lotsa lotssssaaa lotsaaaa of books in it. My house should be drowned in books. I'll be swimming in it. I could literally dive in it. Submerged in it. Ya ya, I've made my point.

The reading room should be the biggest space in the whole household.

 Of course, our bedroom should have at least this much of books right.

Oh, and this should be our TV corner, which the TV will not be much in use for sure. I'll have my children be so drawn in reading books that they wouldn't bother to even watch any TV.  The TV would be much like a decor only.

If we somehow have very small house, then, not having a bookshelf is no problem at all. There is always enough spaces for books. Even if this means attaching them to the walls.

 Oh, and when the walls are already fully occupied, we always have the yard to place some of the bookshelves.

I kinda like this antique design reading room.

I guess, when we have tons of books, we need to be really organised. Maybe it should be colour coded. 

Yes, our children would want to sleep on the bookshelf. They will love books that much! :p

Alright, let's say if we do really have tiny little house, this would suffice.

Bulan Ramadhan, doa mustajab kan? So I'll be praying harddd for this one :)

Dear Ramadhan #2

2nd Ramadhan, 3rd Taraweeh.
Wara' Kuliyah Handasah
Juzu' 3- Surah Ali-Imran, (Surah ke-3)

Some of the ayahs which the Imam repeated a few times, today.

Diperhiaskan bagi manusia kesukaan kepada barang yang diingini, (yaitu) dari hal perempuan dan anak laki-­laki, dan berpikul-pikul emas dan perak, dan kuda kenderaan yang diasuh, dan binatang-binatang ternak dan sawah-ladang. Yang demikian itulah perhiasan hidup di dunia. Namun di sisi Allah ada (lagi) sebaik tempat kembali.

Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.

Katakanlah: sukakah kamu aku ceritakan kepada kamu apa yang lebih baik daripada yang demikian, di sisi Tuhan mereka, bagi orang-orang yang bertakwa? Ialah syurga-­syurga, yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai, kekal mereka di dalamnya, dan isteri-isteri yang suci, dan keridhaan dari Allah. Dan Allah melihat akan hamba-hambaNya.

Say, "Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah . And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants -

:)

Dear Ramadhan #1

Assalamualaikum, and tomorrow marks our first Ramadhan for 2012. Yay! :)
Just came back from Game' Ibrahim Mosque, and alhamdulillah, we managed to complete our first solah taraweeh for this year.

وَ إِذْ يَرْفَعُ إِبْرَاهِيْمُ الْقَوَاعِدَ مِنَ الْبَيْتِ وَإِسْمَاعِيْلُ رَبَّنَا تَقَبَّلْ مِنَّا إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ السَّمِيْعُ الْعَلِيْمُ

Dan (ingatlah), ketika Ibrahim meninggikan (membina) dasar-dasar Baitullah beserta Ismail (seraya berdo'a): "Ya Rabb kami terimalah daripada kami (amalan kami), sesungguhnya Engkaulah Yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui. (QS. 2:127)

127. "And (remember) when Abraham and Ismail raised up the foundations of the House; (saying): ' Our Lord,! Accept (this service) from us; for surely You are All-Hearing, Ali-Knowing'

رَبَّنَا وَ اجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَ مِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِنَا أُمَّةً مُّسْلِمَةً لَّكَ وَ أَرِنَا مَنَاسِكَنَا وَ تُبْ عَلَيْنَآ إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيْمُ

Ya Rabb kami, jadikanlah kami berdua orang yang tunduk patuh kepada Engkau dan (jadikanlah) di antara anak-cucu kami umat yang tunduk patuh kepada Engkau dan tunjukkanlah kepada kami cara-cara dan tempat-tempat ibadah haji kami, dan terimalah taubat kami. Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Yang Maha Penerima taubat lagi Maha Penyayang. (QS. 2:128)

128. " 'Our Lord, make us submissive (Muslims) to You, and of our progeny an Ummah (a nation) submissive to You, and show us our ways of worship, and turn to us (mercifully); for surely You are the Oft-Returning, the Most Merciful '."

These two ayahs was repeated 3 times by the syeikh imam, just now. For sure, these are beautiful verses indeed. An Ummah submissive to you.

During the witir prayer, the imam emphasize our dua for our brothers & sisters in Syria & Burma who are now suffering just because they claim themselves as moslems.

I remember, my ramadhan last year, was all about me. Almost all of my duas was about me, me & me. My happiness, my family, my future, everything, as if the world revolves around me.  It's time that we pray for our muslim brothers & sisters, too. Pray for them, like we pray for ourselves. Pray for them seriously. If only each & one of us are not selfish, praying for each and every muslims in the world, masyaAllah, of all these splendid duas, at least some of them, Allah will grant them. In fact, Allah can grant all of these duas, InsyaAllah.


May this Ramadhan brings lots & lots of barakah, and change each and one of us into better muslims. Amin Ya Rabb. InsyaAllah the victory of Islam will come soon enough. Allah promise us this, all we got to do is have faith in Him, strongly.

Just a post paediatric exam bebelan.

you see
we dh sampai one stage where there's so many things we want in life

• but we keep on denying them
• and then we go.. "Just let it be what it is"
• and then i realized
• " Just let it be what it is" is just so easy to say
• in the end.. we will end up exactly where we should end up in
• because its already written down in the luh mahfuz
• every now and then
• in our everyday life
• we are presented with so many choices
• but we just dont know what to do with them
• and so we just say "forget it".
  
  
  we end up not choosing anything.
  we don't move forward. 
  we can't go backwards.
  
  
  
  
  thanks for the bebelan, friend. we should try harder, moving forward.
  it's time to consider all the choices that we have purposely neglected, all these years.
  
  
  :)
  
  
  
  

Good Late Morning & You

An old favourite of mine.
Tolong lah hur, lagu kau semua lama. :P

Good Morning & Good Things.

Good things come to those 

who wait,
 patiently.

 work hard,

continuously.

pray hard,
silently.

if bad things,
or even nothing comes,
it might be a good thing.

New Discovery

How's your day today?

How do you feel?

Are you angry?

What's wrong?

What's your future plan?

I have all the answers, but sometimes, one can't just utter their words simply.

It's not that simple, as it looks.

Or maybe, 

One is just too complicated. hehe

These canals, it seems 

They all go in circles 

Places look the same, 

And we're the only difference 

A Pathfinder

I miss those backpacking times.
Exploring new world beyond my imaginations.
Meeting people with different backgrounds, culture, religions & perspectives.
Collecting new ideas, expanding my visions, revealing the ancient histories

I need a new adventure!

Shifting to --> *kumpul duit mode*

Kalau niat betul, Allah permudahkan, Biiznillah.


Tidakkah mereka telah berjalan dan mengembara di muka bumi, dengan itu tidakkah mereka memerhatikan bagaimana kesudahan orang-orang yang terdahulu dari mereka? Orang-orang itu adalah orang-orang yang lebih dari mereka tentang kekuatan tenaga dan tentang kesan-kesan usaha pembangunan di muka bumi. Maka sekalipun demikian, Allah binasakan mereka dengan sebab dosa-dosa mereka, dan tiadalah bagi mereka sesiapapun yang dapat menyelamatkan mereka dari azab Allah.

Surah Gafir; ayat 21

just a lil' bit

that tune
that scents
that vibe

if it's still stabbing the heart,
mimicking a typical angina attack.
then, it's a sign.
a sign that one still need a little bit more time.

yeah, just a little bit more.

#25

Jgn Terkeliru Dgn Hati Sendiri

Dr Har pernah berkata;

Sisters, why do you wear hijab?
Really, why do you wear hijab?
Remember sisters, kita ni, pakai hijab,
bukan kerana lelaki.
Tetapi kerana Allah.
Iman lelaki, tanggungjawab mereka.
Tapi ingat, jangan sekali-kali kita pakai hijab, hanya semata-mata kerana takut lelaki nampak aurat kita sahaja.
Pakailah hijab kerana kita sepenuhnya ingin buat apa yang Allah suka, supaya Allah sayang kita balik.


Which brings me to the next point,
Kenapa kita kaum wanita ingin menjadi baik & solehah?

Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita mengharapkan suami yang soleh akan tertarik dengan kita.
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita nak masyarakat hormat pada kita
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita nak semua orang sayang kita
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita nak orang puji kita.
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab saja nak bajet & mengampu mak mertua . LOL

Because, even if you are solehah,
ia takkan menjamin kita dikurniakan suami soleh.
If your goal for being solehah is just to gain suami soleh, or whatever that you are aiming at,
then, that is what you will get. Or, probably you wont get it pun, sebab semuanya masih di tangan Dia.
*refer balik hadith 1 yang semua org dah tahu tu :p* 

Tetapi, if your mere intention, of being whatever you are today,
because of Him, and Him only,
Then insyaAllah,
walaupun tak dapat suami sesoleh mana, atau suami yang teruk barangkali (sebab allah nak bagi dugaan),
walaupun masyarakat pandang enteng terhadap kita,
walaupun semua orang benci gile pada kita,
walaupun orang kutuk kita,
walaupun mak mertua salah paham & menyampah kat kita,
you know, you have something better.
His love.
Don't let the dunya demotivates us from striving for the eternal hereafter.

Jangan satu hari kita mempersoalkan Allah,
saya dah solehah, dah cukup baik dah,
tapi kenapa benda2 tak baik, masih lagi berlaku pada saya?

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, “We believe”, and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false.
[Al-Ankaboot, Verses 2-3] The Holy Quran

Betulkan balik niat kita.
kadang2 kita terlupa.
sibuk untuk apa yang tampak indah hanya di dunia.
Yang rasa kurang solehah atau baik, takpe. takde masalah. selagi jantung kita masih lagi berdegup,
insyaAllah, ada je peluang lagi.
Just jangan lupa, kita tak tahu bila jantung ni akan berhenti
*Ini pesanan khas untuk diri saya sendiri sebab Solehah & baik tu sangatlah jauh lagi*
Kita semua hanyalah manusia yang sentiasa mencuba.

Jadilah seperti apa yang Allah, dan Rasul kita suka.
Meanwhile, do pray hard for our jodoh, rezeki, career, whatever.
But remember, our true main goal and destination,
is the hereafter.

Let's us work hard & not to worry on things that are beyond our control. Things that is already fixed for each and of us. (Ajal& Maut, Rezeki, Jodoh etc). Things that only Allah knows.
Just pray hard that Allah gives you the best on each and STRIVE to be the person that Allah loves.

( Sahih Muslim : Book 32,  Number 6221)
Abu Huraira (Radi Allah Anhu) reported Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu-alleihi-wasallam) as saying: "Verily Allah does not look to your faces and your wealth but He looks to your heart and to your deeds."

p/s: a thoughtful reminder especially for me & my dear sisters in Islam. *bukan yg SIS tu ye* hehe.

#24

“‎”If tears can build me a way, and memories can build me a lane, I will walk the ocean to be with you once again.”

—	From Shaker Aamer’s poem from Guantanamo to his wife.

#23; Foundation of all good deeds.

“I was wondering what the foundation of all good deeds could be. I found that good deeds are many, such as praying and fasting, and they are all in the hands of Allah.We have no access to what Allah has, except through asking Him, so I realized that the foundation of all good deeds is Du’aa.” – Mutarrif

Alhamdulillah.