wish list

mama told me to do a wish list.

write it on a piece of paper, and put it on my wall,
so that everytime i wake up from sleep,
the first thing i see is the things that i wanna be,
a few years from now.

but i don't know why,
i don't feel like doing it.
it's not that i think it's lame, seriously no,
i used to love those kind of stuff,
of course i do,
i love to berangan. hehe
and i don't care of what people think of my wishes,
and i have no problem to make it public.

maybe, i see as my future as unclear for now.
i know i want to be a doctor.
that's all i want to do since i was a little girl.
but that's it. i just don't feel like thinking any further.
or maybe, i just want to keep it to myself.

the diary that used to be my best friend pon dah terabai. haha.
maybe i'm busy and stuff.
or i just dont have the time to berangan anymore.
or berangan is not that fun anymore.
or i am enjoying my real friends so much,
haha. trying to think every possibility, sometimes, i feel it's just a waste of time.

i used to tell someone, diary was my place of telling every secrets and feelings of mine.
now, i guess my secrets are kept inside, and my feelings are poured in to this blog.
which i cannot make everything so public, can i? :P

and when i read all my previous writings in the diary,
since i've been writing for quite a long time,
i realise, the reason i am where i am today,
is because of all my visualisations of my future,
all my berangan punya stuffs,
all my dreams
which i pretty much wrote all of it inside my diary.
that's how i reach up to this level.
by berangan. it works out for me.

bukanlah semua yg i wish to happen tu came true.
in fact, allah granted my wishes in a way that i never ever imagined before.
i said i want to study medic. but never did it crossed my mind it will be in egypt.
i said, i love to have wonderful friends, and never did i thougt the word wonderful is like what my friends are today.
i said, i want to be happy, and that includes all my loved ones to be happy too,
and never did i thought in what ways can all of us be happy.

so, in the end, again, haha, allah knows what's best.
and yes mama, i think i should write it. a wish list of what i wanted to be,
a goal, a vision, a visualisation, a mission,
and i'll try my very best to achieve it,
and let say if i don't, i'll take it as there is always something else better for me.
of course this must be seiring dgn doa dan tawakkal kan. :P

life is short, so why don't you make it seems like it is like a little bit longer? :P