A picture is worth a thousand words and the truths?

kene tag ngn afiq. so, here is my dekstop pic. yes. kampung ku tersayang. sebelah abah.
yg mama punye xde pic lorr.. hur balik mlysia t, hur tngkap byk2 plak kampung mama k. :)

why this pic?

• haiyoo..tringt kampung maaaaa.....mcm2 kenangan.
• klu time musim durian...seyes byk gle durian bergolek-golek.. heaven.
• ade badminton court kt situ.
• nmpk x ad kete merah..bukn kete proton saga..yg lagi satu tu.. that one is my arwah atuk's car. very antique.
• this house sgt2 la exotic. tell me, who is lucky enough to have a kampung as gorgeous as this one.
• kampung ni ad poghan as what owang kampong den suko bonar cakap. kind of mcm kalau dulu2 tompek anak2 dagho melepak. skang ni da xdo da. kadang2 ado kelawar situ. best owwww...
• where our family days take place every single year. missed it last year. haihh...
• ade kete naza kat situ...haihh.. da lme x naek. abah da patut bg hur drive kete tu. i'm not a little girl anymore..lalala...
• evrytime kalau ade owg usyar laptop ku ini, diowg mesti tertarik dgn wallpaper dekstop ni. i couldn't help but being a little bit proud gak la of my kampong. (hur x baek riak)
• waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. encik bulan lapan, sila datang cepat ye! :)

skang ni saya nak tag:

ruby
hazwani
harith loser
umairah

yang ni pon afiq tag gak. haihh..da lme x maen tag2 ni.

100 truths..la sgt...

01. Name ? Hur Azmi
002. Nickname(s)? Hur. as if boleh dpendekkan lagi je.
004. Zodiac sign ? Virgo
005. Male or female ? Female
006. Elementary ? byk la. ade 4. malas la nk list down.
007. Middle School ? byk gak. ad 2.
008. High School ? MRSM Muar
009. College School ? ade 3. haha. KSP, UM, Alexandria University.
010. Hair color ? duh.
011. Long or short ? define short.
012. Loud or Quiet ? haha. both.
013. Sweats or Jeans ? baju kurung? haha.....
014. Phone or Camera ? Camera. da ilang. :(
015. Health freak ? memang pon.
016. Drink or Smoke? ? astaghfirullah hal azim. :)
017. Do you have a crush on someone?? ermmm..
018. Eat or Drink ? both
019. Piercings ? klu kt tlinga kire x?
020. Tattoo ? nop



FIRSTS:
023. First piercing ? mse kecik. x ingt.
024. First best friend ? huhu..a chinese girl infront of my house, and an indian boy sebelah umah. multiracial kot.
025. First award ? singing tyme drjah satu?
026. First crush ? wahaha..sejarah silam.
027. First pet ? Tuah.
028. First big vacation ? Phukettt
030. First big birthday ? mse kecik2. x ingt pon.




CURRENTLY:
049. Eating ? iez bru blik dr green plaza, beli cinnabon..woohoo
050. Drinking ? sky juice sudeyh
052. I'm about to ? solat
053. Listening to ? bebelan iez
054. Plans for today ? tido awl. bgun awl.
055. Waiting for ? ermmmm.byk bnde.


YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids?? sebanyak yg boleh..lalala
059. Want to get married?? when the time comes.
060. Careers in mind ? paediatric or O&G specialist



WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
068. Lips or eyes ? eyes..big ones. haha.
070. Shorter or taller? ? tall. duh.
072. Romantic or spontaneous ? x kesa. as long as it comes from the bottom of his heart. ok trlebuh jiwang.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms ? wth?
074. Sensitive or loud ? snsitive.
075. Hook-up or relationship ? rlationship
076. Trouble maker or hesitant ? x kesa.

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts ? x gune pon
081. Ran away from home ? hahaha.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense ? being paranoid je ad la.
083. Killed somebody ? hrmmm

084. Broken someone's heart ? hope not.
085. Been arrested ? budak baek
087. Cried when someone died ? x nk ingt pon psl tu.



DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself ? sometimes
091. Love at first sight ? haha.never.
092. Heaven ? sure
093. Santa Claus ? haha.
094. Tooth Fairy? used to.
095. Kiss on the first date ? astaghfirullah hal azim.. :)



ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now →beloved ones kat malaysia
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → bersyukur but i want more. insyaallah
099. Do you believe in God → allah. yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 20 people → no, thanks. :)

is it you?

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking your the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain (Uh)
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with trough the night
Someone who I can trust who's heart is right
And I'm looking for someone

**And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking your the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Don't Take for grant
How much I care (How much I care)
And appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of thought to share

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

ok. back to nasyeed. :p

my top 10 list.

bagaimana menenangkan hatiku yang lara..

9. go for a lonnnnnnnnnnggggg walk outside...
8. staring at the deep blue sea.
7. lepak kat rooftop..when there's no else there.
6. a great novel.
5. gelak ketawa rakan-rakan
4. ice-cream+chocolate+caramel dan yg sewaktu dgnnya..
3. heart breaking songs,, in severe cases,, i sing my heart out.
2. diary.
1. mama's pep talk.

yup. and nothing works effectively like number 1.

right after i told her my result (credits to the-so-called yahoo messenger),
her response is quite unbelievable,,,

Mama: x gi celebrate ke

and i was like...

Hur Azmi : clbrate ???
Hur Azmi : ma,, ap yg nk d clebrate

i told her that i was terok,,, sgt terok.
lower than average.
at the bottom kot.
and yet,,

Mama: kan semua b 1 c tu okay lah
Mama: tak pe insyaalh ade room for improvement
Mama: wey semua nanti nak maintain parah tau
Mama: long distance runer mane pecut awal2.nanti habis tamina

and i was like,,,

Hur Azmi: i guess you're right

Mama: i know i am right
Mama: jadi hur ambil iktibar camne cara nak study lagi efficient
Mama: ma2 tanya hur disappointed ngan results hur ke

haihh..sape la yg x...owg yg dapat byk a pon leh kecewa..

Hur Azmi: hur x nk fail je
Hur Azmi: alhamdulillah hur x fail

Mama: so the next exams jngn main2 buat btol2,insyaallah klu x nak disappointed agi

deep down,,,i am quite disappointed.very.but then,, padan ngn muka ak..maen2 ag...hahaha...
guess i know better now..hope so.

thank you.
each word soothes me,,like no other.
and you know i will never express my disappointment to someone else.
and i
will work + try harder.
insyaallah.

and mama is definitely right. long runner x pecut awal2. nanti abis stamina. but in my case, i'm always slow..klu jog pon mmg kat belakang..stamina mmg sikit,,

yes, i am slow,
but i'll never stop.
never.

definitely.maybe.

http://xhansx.blogspot.com/

i've been following his blog for months.

anyway, the blogger's name is dr hannan. graduated from moscow. right now doing his housemanship kat klantan...engaged already..haihh...i'm not usyar-ing him anyway...haha..

btw, mmg salute this guy for having time to update his blog despite of the hecticness of his job. helps us a lot as it gives a rough idea of "what-comes-next-after-egypt".

read it. it's worth your time.

saya tidak mahu berlagak

yup. saya x nk berlagak,,
tapi saya rasa bangga gak la.
infact, i'm really proud of myself...

sebab
sebab
sebab
sebab
sebab
SEBAB
SEBAB

hur officially da pandai masak,,
gulai ayam lemak cili api...
lalala..
it tastes as good as it sounds.
trust me.
i won't lie..huhuu..
tho it's not cili api, instead cili mesir,
and it is pedas glew nak mati..
huhu..
what to do, anak jati negeri sembilan yg buat an...
ok, i'm not jati negeri sembilan,
but both of my parents are,
that makes me a negeri sembilanian too..

and today, i definitely prove it.

i know, semua orang da reti da masak bnde alah ni. it's like sooo yesterday.. tapi x pe r.. ingt senang ke.

wlupon sejak2 ni ada banyak dugaan,
laptop mereng,
getting more emo than usual,
losing someone that i really luf, forever..
al-fatihah.

but with so many friends i have right now,
they definitely know how to make me feel better.
well, at least for temporary.
thanks friends.

p/s:

next mission=masak rendang..lalala...

cepat la, cepat la...

nak balik, nak balik, nak balik...

lalalala..

dah banyak benda tertinggal ni,
need to get updated balik with things that i'd missed.


haihh..rindu bebenor den ni ha. those pics are taken at abah's kebun. used to go there with abah, whenever we're at kampong. it's abah's favourite hangout place. and since there is no boys in our family, i have always been his faithful friend. yes, i know,, kebun tends to bore me a lott..
what do you expect? abah keeps on questioning me...A LOTT

"hur, ni pokok ape?"
"hur rse, bpe lama pokok ni leh bsar?"
"cbe teka ade bpe byk pokok yang abah dah tanam?"

and he has this famous story of his. about his old memories with his dad. how he falls in love in this kind of stuff. how much his kebun means to him.

and of course, i was not there just to listen to his stories. i did some of the works there too. you name it. from baja pokok, to tanam pokok, and potong rumput, plus kutip buah yang da masak and sometimes help abah to pasang the pagar..as there are lots of babi kat situ. not just that kind of babi. if you know what i mean. (hur, jaga mulot).

and mama sometimes tends to complain. on how i seldomly help her in kitchen, because i was at abah's kebun. on how anak dara is not suppose to do those kind of things. what will orang kampong cakap. tak manis la. x sopan la. and her unsatisfaction is well conveyed to abah of course.

maybe that is why i am not that interested in masak at first. (at first je ea, because i'm getting myself to it). because i was not trained in the kitchen. but that is definitely not an excuse. since abah is the greatest cook of all. seriously. i should say that mama is the luckiest woman on earth for having a husband like abah. not because he is my abah. but because he could be the greatest man alive. though he tends to be busy now and then. even his weekends are taken away, outstations here and there. meeting everywhere. lots and lots of functions. (trust me, i don't even want to be his secretary). but i know, if he could choose, this situation is definitely not one of his option. it is for our own sakes. and mama definitely drags me to the kitchen everyday. so, in the nutshell, all the blames are on me.

mama should be relief as i am now turning to become a proper girl. no need to act like abah's son, because the truth is, he has none. and i have always trying to be one, because i thought that could makes him happy. but i forget, it's not a son that he needs, but his own children, inheriting his own blood, to be by his side no matter what. it doesn't matter whether it's a girl or a boy.

but that doesn't stops me from going to abah's kebun for sure. it's just a matter of balancing my time at kampung to help my abah and my mama. yes, a busy person i am.

now, that my 3 not so little sisters had grown up, they understand the importance of abah's kebun too. since i was not there, they should be helping abah and mama. even if i was there, they should be doing the same. and this pictures taken from one of my sis's myspace proves it. and i can see that you guys are turning out BIG alright. probably bigger than myself. no offense ea.

and yes, kebun is not only a place for picnic, or where you can enjoy the breathtaking sceneries, or eating the delicious fruits planted.

it's where dreams and goals are planted.
and it grows with love and care.
and you can't do it alone.
with patience and sincerity,
not to mention plain hardworks,
the dreams, will one day,
turn out to be realities.
and i really believe in this, without doubt,
because abah and mama had taught me well.

p/s: i love you. =)

the music won't last

mama loves to forward sweet emails for me. those emails are really precious as it's probably the only thing that keeps me in touch with her, with the exception of ym.
but there is this one email that i found very interesting..

This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.
She wants to see how many people get her poem.
It is quite the poem. Please pass it on
This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital .
It was sent by a medical doctor

SLOW DANCE


Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry- go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.

it is ironic how some people appreciate life when it is about to end. and no matter how many times we are reminded about it, we keep on forgetting that life is short. at the end of the day, we regret on things that we should have done, things that we shouldn't do, things that we did. if life is all about regretting, what's the point of living?

moral of the story:
do the crazy things that you want, go and chase your dreams, tell your beloved ones how much you love them, just enjoy every second of your life,, before it's too late.

and yes,
the music won't last,
hear the music,
before the song is over.

will be.

축하

congrats sis for the spm results.

you sure did way better than me. alhamdulillah.

all your hardworks are well paid.

when i come to think about it,, i was in her exact place a year ago. time sure flies fast. and i do admit, at that time i was a bit ignorant. ignorant about what the future might lead me too. and who would have guess i'll be sitting right here,, million miles away from where i belong. and not to mention being in the course that i've always dream of since i was a little girl. yes, who would have thought.

somehow the song "que sera sera" rings inside my head.

whatever will be, will be,

the future's not ours to see...

ah, and yes. we can never predict the future. though i do have plans a year back, nothing actually goes according to my plan. well, maybe a bit. but alhamdulillah, i've got something way better. it really shows that, if things are meant to be, it will be. and allah really knows what is best for us.

trust me. i know.

i never actually wanted this. stranded here in egypt. the idea of living here itself is a nightmare. i've listened to soooo many stories of this place. and i don't know which side to buy. but one thing i know for sure,, this place,,without no doubt,,,sucks.

but for the sake of learning medicine,, of pursuing my dreams,, i give up on my luxurious life back in malaysia,, ok, not that luxurious, but it's a life i'm happy living in it. with my parents by my side, i had no complications at all.

surprisingly, it is not that bad. i did have some fun here. in fact,,, i am. i am young and free so hell what, a little bit adventures won't hurt. and with all the mara's allowances, i dare say, i am doing great here. though at times, life is not always a beach..(especially, when u're here). but hey,, it is this kind of moments that you will remember most. a story that you will pass on to the next generation.

Now I have children of my own

They ask their mother what will I be

Will I be handsome

will I be rich

I tell them tenderly

Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be will be

The future's not ours to see

Que Sera Sera

What will be will be

and when i have my own kids, i will definitely pass it on what my mama told me. because my mama gets it from my grandma, my grandma gets it from her mom. and she gets it from her mom. and so, and so, and so.

and yes, whatever will be, will be.

we just have to try our best, and leave the rest to allah.

Insyaallah.

counting.

yup. the end of holyday is here. in a few days,, we will be ushering the new sem. yay!
new sem=

• new resolutions
• new groupmates
• new textbooks
• new lecturers
• busier days
• busier days
• busier days
• not to mention busier days
• and owh yes,,closer to malaysia

and each day i'll be counting,

the day i'll be home again.

the day i'll be with my family

see the faces of my beloved ones

back to where i belong.

and insyaallah, the days here will be a breeze,, if i enjoy it.

insyaallah.

a break, at last.

yes, finally,,the end of sem 1 is here.
after a month of answering q's,
trying hard to usyar hum's paper...which i failed to do so..
and mingling with books,
not to mention, a whole lot of chocolates,
and biscuits,,
and eating rice with lauk-pauk at 3 am almost evry day,
berat badan bertambah bagaikan dipam-pam...
and yes my sleepless nights,,,
now, it comes to an end
alhamdulillah.
but not for long,
i only have like 10 days,
i repeat,
10 precious DAYS.
and i need to spend it wisely.
9 days left, and unfortunately,
i'm broke..
haha..but credits to mara for giving us our allowances at the right time..
u guys sure know what's best for us..
so here i am, how to have fun in 10 days..haha..

bomb?

haih..
camne ni.
good news: exam da nk abis
not so good news: my life is at stake.

camne nk cuti kat cairo ni?
selamat ke?
kalau x g cairo pon,
kalau g mansurah ke,
g tanta ke,
x pon kalau stay je kat sini..
still selamat ke?

everywhere is the same
malaysia also is not in a good state right now.
dengar citer rmi pekerja esp kerja kilang sume hilang kerja.
the recession there is that bad.
dgn melambak-lambak student medik kat cny, tak termasuk kat negara-negara lain lagi,
is there any hope for me to be a doctor?
who knows kan..
haihh..
ok, now i am really cogitating.

once upon a dream? so not going to let it happen.

in a few years t,
will i have what i am having right now?

*sigh*

hidup susah, mati pun susah jugak.
the best is to berserah je la kat allah.
If things are meant to be, dah x leh wat ape kan?
kan?

just so you know.

if you DON'T MEAN IT, don't say it.
if you say it, make sure YOU MEAN IT.
if not, i rather keep myself OUT of it.
seriously, don't make a fool out of me.
now that,,,
I REALLY MEAN IT.

giving up?? so not going to.

biochemistry,, checked.
anatomy,,checked.
2 down, 5 papers to go.


strange, but i used to love exams.
seriously.
you don't have to bring textbooks to school.
a few pencils, pens, a ruler would be enough.
don't have to listen to the teachers' voice which sounds like a lullaby to me.
no homeworks.
and come back home early.

but now, i'm not so sure about it.
yes, the advantages are still there.
except that now that things are getting tougher,
exam is not a bliss anymore.

ok, i nearly give up.
after biochem, i felt like i was soo stupid.
i did read the books.
i did the past year qs'
i discussed with my friends.
but why are the questions are so hard, that my brain is alrdy squeezed to the max,
and i gain nothing out of it.
it came to me that, maybe now i am turning to be soo stupid, that even if i read the book thousand times, it will never get inside my head.
i really felt stupid.
brainless.
at one point, i felt like quitting at that instance,
buy a ticket,
go back to malaysia,
get into any prvate college,
take another easier course, like way easier than this one,
and maybe,
i said, maybe,
live happily.
or not.

like what mama told me,
any course would be tough.
nothing is easy.
no pain, no gain.
u want it, work for it.
but what if i already worked my butt off,
ok, not really,
but i did worked hard, like i never did before,
and the result is, well,
not like what i expcted.

so, after a long hot bath,
i finally get back to my senses,
and i fortunately,
decided that, whatever the outcomes of this exam,
i'm going to accept it with all my heart.
with all my heart.
i sooooo don't want to fail.
i want to go back this summer.
i just going to do my thing,
and the rest is up to Allah.
after all, He is the One who put me here.
and i'm sure,
100% sure, that there's a reason for it.

even if i'm going to get the worse result among my friends,
the worse result among the others,
i'm not going to give up.
never.

whos david? the reverse

Let's switch places ea...


You've always been this way since high school
Flirtatious and quite loud
I find your sense of humour spiteful
It shouldn't make you proud
And I know your pretty face gets forward guys (girls)
But you make it better not to hide the lies

Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys (girls)
Cos' you're so cheap
And I'm not lying
You're not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around

(Don't know you)
You left your phone so I get baited
I hated what I saw
Stupid lying...who's David? ( Delilah?)
Some guy(girl) who lives next door
So go live in the house of David (Delilah) if you like
But be sure he (she) don't know Peter (Phoebe) John (Jenny) and Mike (Michelle)

Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys(girls)
Cos' you're so cheap
And I'm not lying
You're not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around

Don't know you
Do do do do woah
And I know that you try to break me into pieces
And I know what you're like but you can't hurt me now

I'm over you
Do do do do woah
It's so like you
Do do do do woah

Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys (girls)
Cos' you're so cheap
And I'm not lying
Your not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around (words going around)

Don't know you
Do do do woah
Don't like you
Do do do woah
Don't know you


lalalala.....

*sigh*

been awhile since i last posted a post...
well,, exam is coming,,
starting from tomorrow,,
and yes, i'm not ready,,
n will never be..

few updates..

• bought evoip from kader,,heaven!
• straight call mama...
• mama: full of stories.
  
• abg helmi's parents got this porche, carrera, red in colour= bpk dy!
• erra fazira is prgnant
• que haidar is going to marry linda jasmin..wth! toyboy ke ap...
• i'm going to have a kitty nxt year, and it's official, no matter what.
• exam: one whole month..wlcome to hell.
• zorro's getting fatter
• and so are my 3 sisters @ home.lala..
• rowm,, u just can't drive like me.
• waney just came back to mansurah from my place. thnks waney.
  
• hppy bcoming bday anis.
• got to get bck to my biochem.
  

tiggy.TAGgy.tuggy

so here it is..watever this taggy thingy purpose is..
my so-called 10 facts/hobbies.

I'm so sleepy right now ; it's already 1.42 am

I can't live wthout my oral b. (and i brush my teeth too)

Lately, my night is my day, and my day is my night. wateva dat means.

My dream car; a striking red mini cooper. heaven.

The man of my life is my dad..(kind of my bst fwen too,haihh, missing..)

Chocolates are not fattening. And it's a fact.

yup, i'm emotional. but i nvr really potray my exact feeling to anyone. (ego dowh)

I can't wait for July/August..(baby,,i come running home to u)

I alwys wanted to be a rockstar,, having my own band,,,i'm the lead singer, with loud bass n guitar, and bright lights and having this world tour,,and so and so, the list went on and on,,and yah,,keep on dreaming,,

The person who is tagging me is my ex high skool mate when i was in form 3..umairah, and she is damn pandai la,,haha..

p/s: nighty nite. :p thnks umai.

3 big boxes from mlysia. and enough alrdy.

ok, 1st n foremost, the boxes r not mine. but hell wat, its' diba's. n diba's means mine. haha.kidding diba.
yup, diba's mom send 3 boxes frm mlysia, filled with food+ stuffs.

n, apparently, dspite of diba's fatness, (no offense diba), we got to help her to pick those boxes+ lift it all the way home.
dis's iez's parcel. she got dis ystrday also. seems like evryone got their own box frm mlysia falling from heaven. i've got mine too.abah send it to me last mnth, in prson.huhu.but it's empty alrdy.haha.

but of course, we don't mind, since diba blnje us,, mmg crius knyang mkn dat chinese rice thingy (i dunno wat's it called, the only word in my dictionary is eat.) crius knyang. bless u diba for dat.

nway, dat's why we haf to go to carefour, i mean downtown actually to the dhl. dat's when i realise, it had been a long time since i lepak with my galfwens. though areqa was not wif us, due to crtain circumtnces, and yet, i'm grateful.

in+out. diowg pny glaran since shptra lg. evil twins.in=in, out=dibab

plus, we did a lil' bit shoppin. ( i swear mama, it was just a lil' bit). my muney is lyke sket nk mati, but guess i cnnot rsist the tmptation. naughty hur.but dun worry, i'll cut down on othr things, like food esp. dis month i spend lyke 150 usd just on food. usually it's about 100 usd jew. cannot blame me, it's winter. n yes, i'm so bajet bab duit2 ny, since i really want to fulfill my wishlists when i come bck home, where i belong. so i need to spend less, n save more.

but my main point for today's post is, all i want to say is enough already. dis, got to stop.

as we went bck home, by taxi, this taxi drver, borak2 with us. n yes. most of the tyme, all of us buat2 phm. but we did undrstnd some of his words. so, diba was sitting bside him, since the rest of us brebot-rbot nk dok blakng. criusly, i had enough having talks with the taxi drvers. i dun really mind. i've gain a lot from them. but i was too tired to even open my mouth. so, there i was, listening to their cnversation. btween diba, anis n in,,and the taxi drver.

It started as he saw diba was wearing a ring on her finger, so he asked about marriage in mlysia. see. this is wat i'm talking about. marriage. marriage. and marriage. ever snce i landed here, this is wat all these ppl talk about. i dunno if it's just me. whether it is btween the sniors, or boys, girls, n even the taxi driver talks about it. wat is it with all these ppl?

btw, diba told him dat wedding n marriage in mlysia is just the same like how they do it here. then he asked whether we are alrdy married or not.

Our answers..."yup, we're married already"

"Kullu??"

"Aiwa, kullu".

"Arusa fi malizi??"

"Aiwa"

Trnslation:

"Evryone?"

"Yes, Evryone". meaning each n one of us are alrdy married

"Your groom/husband in malaysia"

"Yes"

well, tchnically, one of us, said no for the last question.haha.

we haf no choice. we haf to keep prtnding we're married. i mean dat's the easiest way out. haha.
but again, my point here is,,stop talking bout this. why get too serious? for crying out loud, we're just in 1st year, n we're not even having our 1st final exam. we're young. there's a long way to go. future planning is good, but haihh,,, dunnola..this is like thnking way ahead. even my mom doesn't talk bout dis. ok. at tyme, she did, but not in a serious way. she knows i don't like dat sbjct.so she keeps on teasing me on thngs dat i dun want to talk about.

again, enough alrdy.

let's have this cnvrsation when we're old enough. and for now,
let's haf a blast njoying our sweet youthful days.

lately.

i've had it..
after what had hppened to my phrma marks,,
i really had it..
wth was i thinking..
this is so not like spm..
though i rlly undrstnd wat the lctrers had taught me,
sumhow undrstnd is just not enough.
i was so stupid for not blieving to them telling me medicine is all about working hard.
yup.
i'm not that rajin,
owh wait,
i'm not even rajin.
in fact,
i'm glew malas la..
like malas nk mampos.
criusly, wth are u thnking hur..
if i used to not read books during exam (mse spm dlu),
ok, i did read some mse nk spm,
but not during the mdterm or quiz.?
like who the hell yg bce bku ble nk quiz..
those geeks and nerds do.
but i guess, i haf to b one of them,
if i want a btter rslt la.
i mean, it's time for me to face the facts that i'm a medic studnt.
i'm not in architecture,
or photography,
or hairstyling
or graphic dsigning
or modelling
like heloo those ppl haf to work hard jgak..
but medic is all about working xtra hard,
and consistent,
and work hard,
and work hard,
and work hard,
and the list went on and on.

so, sayonara to all my dwlded movies,
I'll save it for the holiday,
but a lil bit won't hurt rite.
discpline hur.
guess i have to get used of staying up late at night,
though i'll have panda eyes,
and pmples popping out,
not to mntion gaining some weight,,
as i said b4, i'm not in a modelling course,
so to hell all of those crappy things.

btw, having this new haircut sure gives me a new spirit..i mean like lets keep it short. all my mlysia's hair is gone. gone forever. so, stop looking at the past, keep moving forward. btw, i really2 feel free, i'd forgotten wat it was like to have a light head.haha. guess, changes are goooood. thnks a lott ili. xoxoxo.

pride and prejudice

just now, after biochem practical, i went to the market with kimah + sara. yup. same routine for every two weeks. this time we have to buy some vegetables. yup. some.

anyway, we came back by tram and i was standing there next to this girl. She was reading her note book. Well, i'm always kind of curious about things..haha..so i have just a peak on her book..and there i saw this one word,, just one word.."darcy", and i know what it is all about. She was reading on her own review about "pride and prejudice". Guess an exam is coming, and she revises just about anywhere,,

i just can't help it so i asked her. So, there we were, in the tram, having this conversation about jane austen. How she admires her, and yes i am 100% totally agree with her. jane austen is like the greatest writer ever. Come to think about it, i read her novel since i was in lower form. Pride and prejudice is my favourite. read it several times already. a few phrases i memorise by heart.

kind of strange though, there i was talking about jane austen and her novel, with this egyptian girl, in a filthy tram, which i actually never talked about it before with my friends back in malaysia. and yet, there we are, always think we are very broad minded and so educated, when all we ever talked about is about other people, and hawt actors which are also people.haha. and i never ever talked to my friends, well at least some of my friends, about how i really appreciate literatures and poems and shakespeare and arts and jazz. how i really care about those palestinians and world issues and politics and the pollution. because i guess people are not interested in those things. like i don't think my voice will be heard. i'm just an emotional girl, who loves to sleep when there is nothing else to do,, or snuggling in front of my laptop to watch movies, and all the time having earphones in my ears. i cannot make a difference in this world. my existence is nothing. and so i thought.

i cannot go out there, telling everyone to start to care, when me myself here, could not even read a book, not the whole book, just a few pages when exam is coming. and i can't tell my opinions to other people and provoke them to make a change, when me myself could not even cook perfectly for myself. and so again, i thought.

but if i cannot get everyone to care, am i just going to stare, and see the whole world falling down right in front of me... and yet again, there is pride and prejudice. there is pride when i don't want to share my so-little knowledge with other people,,, and there is prejudice when the others think i'm miss-know-it-all,, when i'm actually not so perfect after all.

yes, i'm very down to earth. act like i know nothing. observing people when they are doing mistakes. and don't have the guts to tell them that they,,at some point are wrong. if i can't even make a change to those who i'm closed with, those who i love, how could i ever think of changing the world. dream on hur, dream on.

in the end, i guess, if we want to change the world, which is a must, concerning to the situation of the world right now,, we have to change ourselves first. if each and one of us turn into a better person, the whole world will turn out better. come to think of it, it is not that hard to change the world after all. it's all about teamwork and get everyone does their small part in this. and yes. my existence is vital after all. and so i think.

p/s: pride and prejudice makes me think of mr darcy. i wonder if he ever existed. well, at least
in this era of time.haihh.too good to be true huh.

flickr-ING

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