Jgn Terkeliru Dgn Hati Sendiri

Dr Har pernah berkata;

Sisters, why do you wear hijab?
Really, why do you wear hijab?
Remember sisters, kita ni, pakai hijab,
bukan kerana lelaki.
Tetapi kerana Allah.
Iman lelaki, tanggungjawab mereka.
Tapi ingat, jangan sekali-kali kita pakai hijab, hanya semata-mata kerana takut lelaki nampak aurat kita sahaja.
Pakailah hijab kerana kita sepenuhnya ingin buat apa yang Allah suka, supaya Allah sayang kita balik.


Which brings me to the next point,
Kenapa kita kaum wanita ingin menjadi baik & solehah?

Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita mengharapkan suami yang soleh akan tertarik dengan kita.
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita nak masyarakat hormat pada kita
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita nak semua orang sayang kita
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab kita nak orang puji kita.
Jangan nak jadi solehah sebab saja nak bajet & mengampu mak mertua . LOL

Because, even if you are solehah,
ia takkan menjamin kita dikurniakan suami soleh.
If your goal for being solehah is just to gain suami soleh, or whatever that you are aiming at,
then, that is what you will get. Or, probably you wont get it pun, sebab semuanya masih di tangan Dia.
*refer balik hadith 1 yang semua org dah tahu tu :p* 

Tetapi, if your mere intention, of being whatever you are today,
because of Him, and Him only,
Then insyaAllah,
walaupun tak dapat suami sesoleh mana, atau suami yang teruk barangkali (sebab allah nak bagi dugaan),
walaupun masyarakat pandang enteng terhadap kita,
walaupun semua orang benci gile pada kita,
walaupun orang kutuk kita,
walaupun mak mertua salah paham & menyampah kat kita,
you know, you have something better.
His love.
Don't let the dunya demotivates us from striving for the eternal hereafter.

Jangan satu hari kita mempersoalkan Allah,
saya dah solehah, dah cukup baik dah,
tapi kenapa benda2 tak baik, masih lagi berlaku pada saya?

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, “We believe”, and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false.
[Al-Ankaboot, Verses 2-3] The Holy Quran

Betulkan balik niat kita.
kadang2 kita terlupa.
sibuk untuk apa yang tampak indah hanya di dunia.
Yang rasa kurang solehah atau baik, takpe. takde masalah. selagi jantung kita masih lagi berdegup,
insyaAllah, ada je peluang lagi.
Just jangan lupa, kita tak tahu bila jantung ni akan berhenti
*Ini pesanan khas untuk diri saya sendiri sebab Solehah & baik tu sangatlah jauh lagi*
Kita semua hanyalah manusia yang sentiasa mencuba.

Jadilah seperti apa yang Allah, dan Rasul kita suka.
Meanwhile, do pray hard for our jodoh, rezeki, career, whatever.
But remember, our true main goal and destination,
is the hereafter.

Let's us work hard & not to worry on things that are beyond our control. Things that is already fixed for each and of us. (Ajal& Maut, Rezeki, Jodoh etc). Things that only Allah knows.
Just pray hard that Allah gives you the best on each and STRIVE to be the person that Allah loves.

( Sahih Muslim : Book 32,  Number 6221)
Abu Huraira (Radi Allah Anhu) reported Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu-alleihi-wasallam) as saying: "Verily Allah does not look to your faces and your wealth but He looks to your heart and to your deeds."

p/s: a thoughtful reminder especially for me & my dear sisters in Islam. *bukan yg SIS tu ye* hehe.

#24

“‎”If tears can build me a way, and memories can build me a lane, I will walk the ocean to be with you once again.”

—	From Shaker Aamer’s poem from Guantanamo to his wife.

#23; Foundation of all good deeds.

“I was wondering what the foundation of all good deeds could be. I found that good deeds are many, such as praying and fasting, and they are all in the hands of Allah.We have no access to what Allah has, except through asking Him, so I realized that the foundation of all good deeds is Du’aa.” – Mutarrif

Alhamdulillah. 

22#; Have a little Faith

learn how to trust people.

if not, one day you might end up being all alone.

learn to trust.

it's not that hard.

right?

"Love all, trust few, do wrong to none"- William Shakespeare

"When i lost trust in you, I lost trust in almost all people" - Copper

"Show forgiveness, encourage what is good, and do not punish the foolish" [Surah Al-A'raf 7:199]

Turn to the dark side, you must not.

Yoda pernah berkata;

Fear is the path to the dark side.

Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate.

Hate, leads to suffering.

*****************************************************************************************************************

11 tahun dahulu

"Kenapa nangis?", ibu bertanya pada Fatimah.

"Tak tau".

"Mana boleh tak tau. Everyone cries for a reason",

"Sometimes, Fatimah rasa nak nangis tanpa sebab. Nangis pun salah ke,"

"Hrmm. pendendam. deep down, Fatimah jenis suka pendam perasaan ni"

8 tahun dahulu

"Aku suka kawan dgn kau. Kau matang", kata Halimah.

"Matang? maksudnya?", Fatimah berasa hairan.

"Ko lain. tak macam budak asrama lain. Matang. Tak join budak2 kecik yang lain tu",

"Aku tak suka.,"

"Tak suka apa?"

"Jadi ordinary, macam diorang. I'm different",

"Hahaha. Aku suka. Kalau macam tu, kau mesti tak suka duduk kat asrama ni kan?"

"Tak. Never, and will never do! Aku tak suka tempat ni. Aku tak suka org2 yang duduk kat sini. Hipokrit. Penuh penipuaan. Rules dia ridiculous. What's the point of making rules which are meant to break. Apa semua ni? Boleh kata aku pula yang sombong. This place is hell you know. Hell."

"Woahhhh. Rilek. Chill. Kau jenis pemarah juga rupanya. Muka lembut, tapi ada api membara dalam tu,"

"Sebab aku jenis tak marah selalu la benda ni kumpul dalam benak dada aku."

"aku ada plan. Kau nak lari dari sini?"

"Nak!"

"Kita boleh plan sama2. Tapi plan ni, i tell you, takes time."

"Kalau boleh, hari ni juga aku nak blah,"

"Woah. Sabar. Good things, come to those who wait,"

*****************************************************************************************************************

Kau dah lain la Fatimah," kata Halimah.

"Apa yang lainnya?",

"Kau dah start rapat dgn dak2 tu. Apa cer weyh? Dulu kata benci.",

"Oh. They seems to be alright actually. Dulu tu, diorang kutuk2 aku, sebab tak kenal aku lagi. But now, diorang kata, best kawan ngn aku."

"Kau yang kata diorang hipokrit.",

"Well, that's quite true. Tapi, bila kita bagi chance kat diorang, they can act differently. people can change."

"Habis tu, plan kita nak lari dari asrama camne?"

"Oh, about that. I rethink about it, dan aku rasa. buat benda camtu seems tak matang. I mean if you have a problem with the system, deal with it. Bukan lari dari diorang. Blend in with them. Then, you get the opportunity to discuss baik2 dgn diorang. Diorang terima je pendapatorg lain. Kalau cakap baik2."

"I dont know you anymore. Kau berubah Fatimah. Senangnya pendirian kau berubah. Aku rasa kau yang hipokrit."

"Bukan Halimah. Perasaan benci terhadap sesuatu tak cukup. Memang ada banyak benda yang mereka buat salah. Tapi, dengan mengasingkan diri dari mereka, dengan tidak berbuat apa2, mengutuk belakang2, kita tak dapat apa. Dosa ada lah. As if we are at the same level with them. And of course dgn cara kita ni, diorang takkan berubah. Berlapang dada dgn mereka. Accept kelemahan mereka, and try to improve it together. Sebab mereka juga banyak keistimewaannya. something that you & I dont have. Dan kita pun, banyak kelemahan juga."

"Sudahlah Fatimah. Kau nak join diorang join lah. Aku selesa macam ni. Baik aku duduk seorang diri"

"Takpe la. Satu hari mungkin kau nampak. Kita masih lagi berdarah muda remaja. Banyak yang kita tak faham lagi,"

******************************************************************************************************************

Beberapa bulan dahulu.

"Marah sangat ke dengan arab tu tadi?" ibu bertanya pada Fatimah

"Geram nye Ya Allah. Ibu bukan tak tau, Fatimah memang cukup pantang dengan orang yang menipu. Geram dia macam,,,,,, haihh, takpela ibu. Sabar je la. Astaghfirullah,"

"haha. anak ibu masih lagi suka dendam perasaan. Cerita je la dengan ibu.",

"Bukan Fatimah tak suka bercerita dgn ibu. Cuma, kadang2, Fatimah rasa tak semua perasaan tu boleh dicerita. Kebanyakan orang faham the crude emotions; sedih, gembira, marah. Tapi kadang2, ada perasaan yang tak dapat digambarkan dan yang tak terluah. Sayang, tapi tak suka dengan perlakuannya. Marah, tapi faham dengan tindakannya. mungkin, Fatimah sendiri yang kene cari cara untuk luahkannya."

"Tapi, seorang ibu, masih lagi boleh faham, walaupun anaknya tidak cerita apa-apa,"

"Fatimah tahu. Sebab, semua ibu hebat2! Jadi, lepas ni, Fatimah tak payah la cerita apa2. Sebab memang ibu faham semuanya. hehe"

"oh, pandai ye,"

“Sesungguhnya di kalangan hamba-hamba Allah itu ada satu golongan,mereka bukan dari golongan para nabi ataupun syuhada’,tetapi para nabi dan syuhada’ mencemburui mereka,tempat mereka di sisi Allah s.w.t.Kata para sahabat,khabarkan kepada kami siapa mereka? Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda:”Mereka adalah satu kaum yang saling cinta-mencintai kerana Allah, bukan ada hubungan saudara-mara di kalangan mereka dan juga bukan kerana kepentingan.Demi Allah,di wajah mereka ada cahaya dan mereka di atas cahaya.Ketika manusia takut,mereka tidak takut.Ketika manusia bersedih,mereka tidak bersedih.Dan mereka berkata,sesungguhnya wali-wali Allah tidak takut dan tidak sedih.”- HR Abu Daud.

UBM

watak yang paling anda sukai?

watak yang tidak disukai?

*facepalm* tak jadi isi, sebab takde idea nak tulis apa.

nmpk sangat kau tak leh kawen lagi hurrrr. LOL

must be a side effect.

because, i think i'm hallucinating.

with excessive palpitation&tachycardia.

all, the time.

21#

Kalau ada jumpa kawan yang baik, jaga baik-baik. walaupun kadang2 salah faham tu selalu berlaku. kita tak tau, bila lagi boleh jumpa org yang baik2.

P/S: ada sebab Allah temukan kita dgn seseorang :)

Thank you Allah.

#20

“‎If you don’t have the ability to compete with the pious in righteous deeds, compete with sinners in seeking Allaah’s forgiveness”

—	Ibn Rajab p/s: rindu pula MABIT. hehe. :)

Cornetto separuh makan.

2009

"Ko nak aiskrim?", tanya Aminah pada Fatimah.

"Eh, x payah laa. Ais krim buat org gemuk", jawab Fatimah.

"Ngade. nak la tu". Aminah menghulurkan aiskrim.

"Hehehe. Terima kasih. Bestnya orang belanja",

"Sedapnya aiskrim. Syukur alhamdulillah, ada orang belanja hari ni. Tadi dah la tak bwk duit. hihi", monolog Fatimah dalam hati sambil berjalan pulang ke rumah.

"Aiz... aiz aiskrim...", tiba-tiba anak bawab bawah rumah, Ahmad meminta-minta aiskrim dari Fatimah.

"Hishhh. ngada betul laaaa. tak boleh la tengok aku makan aiskrim dgn tenang. Bukan selalu nak makan aiskrim cornetto ni......", Fatimah mengomel dalam hati.

Dengan rasa yang sangat berat hati, diberinya aiskrim yang hampir separuh di makan tadi pada Ahmad.

"Padan muka Ahmad. Tadi kakak dia rebut aiskrim tu dari dia. nangis2 dia nak aiskrim tu. tu la, minta2 lagi aiskrim dari aku. Dia pun tak rasa juga akhirnya," Fatimah mengadu pada housematenya.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2012

"Awak nak aiskrim? Aiskrim mega nak?", tanya Lili pada Fatimah.

"Tak payah laaaa", Fatimah menolak.

"Kita dah kaya ni, hehe, cepat la pilih, ada mega Gold ni", Lili berkeras juga.

"Ye la, tapi kita tak nk mega. nak cornetto. Kita susah la nk makan aiskrim batang2 ni. hehe",

"Ambik je la, mana awak nak,"

"Alhamdulillah. orang belanja hari ni. Dapat coklat pulak lagi. Tak ada boipren nak bagi coklat, membe bagi pun jadi laa. Panjang umur, murah rezeki si pemberi niii..", Fatimah berkata-kata seorang diri sambil menikmati aiskrim cornetto.

"lau samaht, sa3ah kam?" seorang budak perempuan kecil yg comel menegur Fatimah.

"maalish, ya banat, ana mush arfah. mafish sa3ah dal wakti", jawab Fatimah, dgn bahasa arab amiyah yang berterabur.

"ahh, meshi."

Fatimah kembali menjilat aiskrim cornetto nya yg lazat, sambil meneruskan perjalanan.

Kemudian dia terhenti.

Dia toleh belakang kembali.

Puas dia melihat gerak-geri si kecil tadi yang jalan seorang diri.

"ya banat!," Fatimah memanggil-manggil budak perempuan itu.

"enti aizah aiskrim?," tanya Fatimah padanya.

" aiwah... hehe..," jawab budak perempuan itu dgn tersipu-sipu malu.

Fatimah memberi aiskrimnya pada budak perempuan tersebut.

Gembira sungguh si kecil itu menerima aiskrim cornetto yang sudah separuh di makan.

Fatimah tersenyum melihat telatahnya.

Teringat pula pada Ahmad, si anak bawab, tiga tahun lepas....

"Sorry, Ahmad".

#19

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّيْنِ حَنِيْفًا فِطْرَتَ اللهِ الَّتِيْ فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لاَ تَبْدِيْلَ لِخَلْقِ اللهِ ذَلِكَ الدَّيْنُ الْقَيِّمُ

وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَيَعْلَمُوْنَ

Hadapkanlah wajahmu dengan lurus pada agama (Allah),

(tetaplah atas) fitrah Allah yang telah menciptakan manusia menurut fitrah itu. Tidak ada perubahan atas fitrah Allah. (Itulah) agama yang lurus, tetapi kebanyakan manusia tidak mengetahui. (QS ar-Rum [30]: 30).

http://xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/six-things-that-cause-someone-to-go-astray/

p/s: kita semua pasti akan kembali pada fitrahnya. atau mungkin, sendiri kene berusaha jika kita jauh dari fitrah ini?

mungkin, aku terlupa. lagi.

6.15 pagi

"mesir camna? aman?"'

"alhamdulillah. 25 januari tu, diorang buat protest mcm biasa je. and celebrate 1 year"

"oh, i see. comel la baby kawan hur tu."

"oh, baby kak nisa ke? comel sgt. kecik je."

"hur takde calon lagi ke?"

"ma ni, hur da cakap, hur tak fikir lagi. banyak tak study lagi ni. nanti2 la, bila dah grad nnt"

"study tu lainnnn,,,, ye la, hur belajarlah rajin2. jadi pakar nanti, boleh bawa mama jalan2 sekali"

"insyaAllah, kalau yang tu yg terbaik"

"tapi, abah mesti tak nak ikut. asik dgn kebun dia je."

"hahaha. takkan nak paksa abah kot."

8.15 pagi

" semua org, malam ni hantar ye nota2 tu semua. ah, hur, dah siap nota soalan tu?"

" alamak, hehe. serius lupa. takpe, malam ni siap insyaAllah. kita hantar nanti"

8.30 pagi

"everyone, the class is at cc."

"kenapa cc?"

"oh, gabung dgn budak2 unit lain."

8.50 pagi

"everyone, go back to our unit. our class is there."

" eh, tak jadi gabung dgn unit lain ke? buang masa la jalan2 macam ni"

11.10 pagi

"lapar tak? jom makan"

"makan mana?"

"mcD nak."

"Jom. korang tak nak ikut skali? bawak je la beg. terus pegi unit nanti"

11.45 pagi

"wah,, rajinnya buat homework arab."

"ye la, tau la dia takde homework. camne eh nak buat ayat ni?"

12.30 tengahari

"banyak dah baca untuk exam?"

"ntah la. target semalam habis kan semua ni. tapi, ni tak habis2 lagi"

1.50 petang

"common things, are common. so, what are the complications of ................"

"kita kan, still tak paham, apa maksud common things, are common? hehe"

2.35 petang

"cepat call doc. kita tak dapat tajuk kita ni. esok nk present"

"aku tak bawak phone. ok, aku cakap dengan dia, tapi guna phone hannah"

2.50 petang

"hur, nak pegi mana?"

"beli makanan jap."

2.55 petang

*walks towards pantai*

*sitting at the bench*

*termenung*

*termenung jauh*

"SubhanaAllah, cantiknya. pantai, pantai. you've never changed kan. still blue& green like you used to be. still the same old pantai that i fall with during my 1st year here. sorry, dah lama tak datang sini. so many things thing to do. i've just lost track of everything."

*tenung burung-burung laut terbang tinggi*

*angin sepoi2 bahasa, tudung ditiup-tiup lembut*

*pakcik2 pancing ikan di tepi*

*hon2 tramco berbunyi-bunyi. tapi, telinga ni, seakan-akan sudah lali"

*dengar bunyi adzan asar gami' ibrahim *

Dalam dunia ini, pantai alex yang mengingatkan ku, padaMu.

Maafkan hamba Mu ini. Yang selalu tenggelam dalam duniawi.

Renungan di pantai ini, buat aku sedar kembali.

إِلَّا أَن يَشَاء اللَّهُ وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ وَقُلْ عَسَى أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّي لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَذَا رَشَدًا

"kecuali (dgn mengatakan) InsyaAllah. Dan ingatlah kepada Tuhanmu apabila engkau lupa dan katakanlah, 'Mudah-mudahan Tuhanku akan memberiku petunjuk kepadaku agar aku lebih dekat (kebenarannya) daripada ini"

-Al-Kahf, ayat 24-

you, will always be my favourite spot. of all. :)

giving up :)

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

What if our baby comes home after nine?
What it your eyes close before mine?
What if you lose yourself sometimes?
Then I'll be the one to find you
Safe in my heart

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

kene paham each words betul2, then, you'll get the message

p/s: mula2 ingtkan giving up is a negative thing. tapi bila dah paham, baru tau mksudnya giving up on bad things hihihihi

i don't mind.

Someone asked me before, if someone tell you something like "let's be apart temporarily" or "i think it'd be better if we just didn't talk for awhile", how would i react?

it's easy. just do it. they did asked for it. i have no problem with this. As long as they're happy, i'm good with anything......................

and probably deep in my heart, i'll say something like;

We are never going to talk again, but I hope you know you are forever in my thoughts and prayers.

*sigh*. biasalah. manusia dan dunia :)

C.H.A.N.G.E

Every cell in the human body regenerates on average, every 7 years. Like snakes, in our own way, we shed our skin. Biologically, we are brand, new people. We may look the same, we probably do, but change isn't visible...not in most of us, but we all change, completely, forever.

When we say things like 'people don't change,' it drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant in science. Energy, matter, it's always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural...the way we change to what things were than letting them be as they are. The way we change to old memories instead of forming new ones, the way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death or a second chance at life if we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it. It can feel like pure adrenaline, like at any moment we can have another chance at life...like at any moment, we can be born all over again.

p/s : i miss these 2 girls above. May life for you is happy, now and Hereafter insyaAllah. :)

why am i the only one who is not changing? need to make one, pronto!

excess happiness

once, i told one of my best friends that i feel guilty, when i'm happy.

my usual daily days *min zaman yakni* are like a roller coaster ride. there's up and down, here and then. mama used to tell me, "don't be so stress out. do not burn yourself out. you don't have to carry the world on your shoulder. you're still young. you don't have to age so early".

probably, i did aged too early. i don't usually click in the normal conversations with my peers of same age are having. i had a friend telling me, my tastes in everything are just like her granny. and what i have in my mind, well, i don't dare to express it, most of the time. *really, you don't want to know*

and so, if i feel so happy, i felt guilty. as in, "why am i feeling so happy?". i believe, if i feel so happy right now, i might receive bad news then. from my previous past history, my brain planted this theory firmly.

and so, i did some emotion control every now and then.

an "emotional check", is what i called it. i set an emotion parameter. if it's somehow above or below the average, quickly, i do a deep inhalation, and do some other various stuffs and insyaAllah, eventually, it will be back to it's normal level.

This theory that i'm having is definitely not rigid at all. Obviously, as human beings, we can't really control our emotions all the time. Sometimes, your brain can't process all the information that gushes in all at once, and alas, you have an unplanned reaction. A pure reaction originates from your heart or most probably your "nafs", without your brain interfering with it.

I realised now, that whatever emotion one is having, whether it is excess or little, good or bad, one have no control most of the time. with time and experiences, we may train ourselves to have some control. but really, how many of us can really do this.

therefore, i concluded above all the theories from one simple stand. that everything comes from Allah, which means, everything originates from Him is a good thing. so is happiness, or even sadness. it's never wrong to feel happy, it's not bad feeling sad, it's ok to worry, and it's normal that sometimes, you feel angry.

acknowledge that each emotions comes for a reason. don't straight away react with the feeling that you are having. at least, stop and think, and analyze this emotion that you are having. the best way is to visualize the consequences of your every detail actions. how it will affects yourself, how it affects the people around you; your friends & family, whether it affects your studies, and definitely, will it affect your future? In case you have problems visualizing it, then remember this, will Allah like it if you react this way. will He bless your reaction towards your emotion?

i've learned that it's okay to feel happy. it's one of the nikmah in this world. you should enjoy this nikmah, so that you are motivated to aspire Jannah. if you enjoy being happy in this world, the happiness in Jannah is, MasyaAllah, greatly beyond your imagination. the key is to learn how to react with this excessive emotion that you are having. yes, bad news, may come along after happiness just as after the sun shines, rain comes along. however, remember that after it rains heavily, beautiful colourful rainbow comes along. mashaAllah, the thoughts of rainbow, flutters my heart so much, i probably end up with atrial fibrillation. :p

May allah always bless the feelings that i'm having, all the time :)

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

“And that it is He (Allah) Who makes (whom He wills) laugh, and makes (whom He wills) weep”

- (Surah An-Najm 53:43)

azalea.

I know you'll leave me one fine day.

You're sick of me, is what you'll say;

dumb and numb, I'll send you on your way.

Ahead of you I'll scatter showers

great armfuls of azalea flowers

from Yongbyon mountains' springtime bowers.

And as you go, each step you make

lightly on the flowers that break

will echo as the leave you take.

I know you'll leave me one fine day.

You're sick of me, is what you'll say;

but I'll not weep then, come what may.

now, will you trample on my azaleas?

p/s; this is a korean literary heritage poetry.

#18

Truly in the heart there is a void that cannot be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it it there is sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to him and in it there is emptiness that cannot be filled except with the love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.

- Ibn Qaiyyim al Jawziyyah

alhamdulillah ala kulli hal :)

Sol; Where is your soul?

"Ok, mana nak pergi lagi lepas ni?", kata irna.

"Hrmmm, jap eh. tengok map jap.", sambil terkapai-kapai membuka map dalam keadaan hujan yang masih renyai.

"Ok, kita dah cover area ni. sini pun dah. eh, sini pun dah. ni puerta de toledo kan. ha, betul la. wahh, tak sangka, in. satu malam kita boleh round satu kota Madrid", saya berkata.

Puerto De Toledo

Kami membuat keputusan untuk pulang sahaja ke kawasan hostel kami, Puerta De Sol, atau nama pendeknya "Sol" memandangkan malam pun sudah mula tua.

Perjalanan balik ke kawasan hostel amat mudah. Bandar Madrid dihubungkan melalui Metro, ala-ala LRT bawah tanah konon nya.

Keadaan di Puerto De Sol malam itu sangat meriah. Jalannya di penuhi orang ramai, walaupun dalam keadaan hujan.

"Eh, diorang buat apa ni? Jom tengok jap", kata irna sambil menunjuk ke arah sekumpulan manusia berkumpul di tengah dataran Sol.

Kelihatan seorang wanita, berdiri di atas "stage" kotak. Seorang lelaki tolong memegang payung bagi pihaknya. Seolah-olah, wanita tersebut sedang melakukan sebuah persembahan barangkali.

" I was a bad girl before", berkata wanita tersebut dalam bahasa Spanish. Lelaki yang memegang payung tersebut menterjemahkan kata-katanya dalam Bahasa Inggeris.

" I love to party. I went to Disco and night clubs all the time. My life was a mess. Alcohol & sex was my best friend, and it makes me happy each time i'm depressed. i even tried to commit suicide when i face a big problem.

But one day, i stop and think for a while. i need help. There must be someone out here, SOMEONE at all, who can help me. Help me to get out of this kind of life that i'm facing. I search everywhere for something, or someone to help me. but i seem to not find it anywhere. I want to change, but i don't know how.

That's when i realised, there is SOMETHING that can help me. Some force whom which is with me all these time, but i do not notice it. God. I realised, God can help me.

That's when i started to believe in God. I try to love God, and God heals me completely inside",

Sungguh panjang sajak wanita tersebut. Kata-katanya penuh emosi menusuk kalbu. Seolah-olah, saya boleh memahami apa yang wanita tersebut cuba maksudkan. Seakan-akan diri sesat dalam keseronokan dunia. Seronok, memang seronok. tapi, kenapa rasa seolah-olah ada yang tak kena.

Wanita tersebut mengakhiri sajaknya dengan berkata;

Remember that, no matter how lost you are, in the end you will always have god's love.

wanita Spanish, dan lelaki berambut kerinting di tepinya.

Sungguh. Memang wanita ini bukan Islam. Dia merupakan penganut agama Katholik, sama seperti rata-rata seluruh penduduk Madrid. Tetapi sedikit sebanyak, apa yang dikatakan olehnya, benar sekali.

Kadang-kadang kita sibuk mencari ketenangan, cuba mencari kebenaran, namun kita lupa. Jawapan kepada segala kekeliruan dan sumber ketenangan kita, memang ada depan mata. Cuma, kita yang buta mata, buta hati.

Tuhanmu lebih mengetahui apa yang ada dalam hatimu, jika kamu orang yang baik, maka sungguh, Dia Maha Pengampun kepada orang yang bertaubat ' (Al Isra' : 25)

Sesudah wanita itu mengakhiri persembahannya, seorang lelaki, berambut kerinting pula naik ke atas "stage" tersebut.

"Here's a drawing i drew;

lebih kurg macam ni lah lukisan nya.

"Of course it can't be compared to picasso's masterpiece. And if you can see here, i have an eraser. If i think, my drawing is a disaster, or if i did a mistake in my drawing, i can simply erase it.

Now, life is not like this drawing. You can't just screw a chapter of your life, and erase your mistakes.

But god can do this for you." katanya sambil membalikkan bahagian belakang kertas yang di conteng itu. bahagian belakang kertas ini, sangat putih dan bersih, tiada kesan contengan walaupun setitik pun.

Sambungnya lagi;

"As He's the saviour of humankind. this is how much God loves you. he can do THIS, for you"

Adalah memang kepercayaan agama mereka dari segi "purification of sins" dan yang sewaktu dengannya.

Tetapi Islam juga mengamalkan konsep yang sama, malah lebih indah lagi.

Memang benar, kita tak boleh nak turn back the time, and erase the past chapters of our lives mcm kita padam kesalahan dalam lukisan.

tapi apa yang kita boleh buat ialah, kita boleh start a new chapter in life. a clean, pure chapter of life. sama macam apa lelaki spanish ni buat, dia selak muka surat kertas tu yang bersih. kesalahan lalu seolah-olah pengajaran bagi kita. dan adanya contengan *macam novel Hlovate contengan perjalanan lah plak* dalam chapter hidup kita yang dulu tu, adalah untuk mengingatkan kita untuk tidak mengulangi kesilapan yang sama lagi.

bayangkan lah, kalau senang benar kita boleh padam semua kesalahan kita. buat salah, padam. salah je padam. senang bagi kita untuk ulangi benda yang sama. sebab kita tahu, nanti boleh padam juga, orang pun tak tau. boleh lah buat banyak kali kan, kesalahan yg sama tu.

Anggaplah, those ugly chapters of our past, is a reminder for us, to be better near future, insyaAllah.

Allah tetap sayang kita, walau banyak dosa yang kita lakukan dulu. Dia tetap bagi peluang, walaupun, kita dah abaikan dia dlm tempoh masa yang lama. Asalkan kita benar-benar bertaubat dan kembali pada-Nya, dan tidak mengulangi kesilapan yang lalu.

“Tuhanmu telah menetapkan atas diriNya kasih sayang, (yaitu) bahwasanya barangsiapa yang berbuat kejahatan di antara kamu lantaran kejahilan, kemudian ia bertaubat setelah mengerjakannya, dan mengadakan perbaikan, maka sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.” (Al An’aam: 54)

Malam itu, di tengah-tengah Puerto De Sol, dengan susasan hujan yang rintik-rintik membasahi bumi, saya berfikir sendirian;

Allah do loves us so much. Do we love Him, as much as He loves us?

Wallahualam.

"Jangan menilai seseorang itu berdasarkan sejarah hitamnya yang lalu..

kerana mungkin yang hitam itu adalah disebabkan kelekaannya pada masa yang lalu...

dan kerana mungkin yang hitam itulah yang membawanya kepada seorang yang hari INI...bukan lagi yang DAHULU KALA....

dan kerana hanya Allah sahaja yang layak meletakkan dirinya diMANA dia berada...bukan kita..."

- terjumpa dekat mana ntah, dah tak ingat. :)

thank you random spanish woman, and random spanish curly hair guy. you guys helped me to discover a meaning of something, that night. oh, and thanks for sharing your umbrella, with us. :) how i dua', that both of you will discover the beauty of Islam. Eternal serenity and the answers to all your confusion and questions, insyaAllah :)

#17

You knock, He opens. You attend, He welcomes. You ask, He gives. You sin, He tests, You repent, He forgives. You sin again. He forgives again. You cry, He listens. Everything you do, is about you; and everything He does, is about you. "So which of Allah’s favours will you deny?" [Quran Surah Al-Rahman 55:13]

subhanaAllah. is there anyone that can love you, more than He do?

p/s: thanks rom for this precious ayah! :)