saya tidak mahu berlagak

yup. saya x nk berlagak,,
tapi saya rasa bangga gak la.
infact, i'm really proud of myself...

sebab
sebab
sebab
sebab
sebab
SEBAB
SEBAB

hur officially da pandai masak,,
gulai ayam lemak cili api...
lalala..
it tastes as good as it sounds.
trust me.
i won't lie..huhuu..
tho it's not cili api, instead cili mesir,
and it is pedas glew nak mati..
huhu..
what to do, anak jati negeri sembilan yg buat an...
ok, i'm not jati negeri sembilan,
but both of my parents are,
that makes me a negeri sembilanian too..

and today, i definitely prove it.

i know, semua orang da reti da masak bnde alah ni. it's like sooo yesterday.. tapi x pe r.. ingt senang ke.

wlupon sejak2 ni ada banyak dugaan,
laptop mereng,
getting more emo than usual,
losing someone that i really luf, forever..
al-fatihah.

but with so many friends i have right now,
they definitely know how to make me feel better.
well, at least for temporary.
thanks friends.

p/s:

next mission=masak rendang..lalala...

cepat la, cepat la...

nak balik, nak balik, nak balik...

lalalala..

dah banyak benda tertinggal ni,
need to get updated balik with things that i'd missed.


haihh..rindu bebenor den ni ha. those pics are taken at abah's kebun. used to go there with abah, whenever we're at kampong. it's abah's favourite hangout place. and since there is no boys in our family, i have always been his faithful friend. yes, i know,, kebun tends to bore me a lott..
what do you expect? abah keeps on questioning me...A LOTT

"hur, ni pokok ape?"
"hur rse, bpe lama pokok ni leh bsar?"
"cbe teka ade bpe byk pokok yang abah dah tanam?"

and he has this famous story of his. about his old memories with his dad. how he falls in love in this kind of stuff. how much his kebun means to him.

and of course, i was not there just to listen to his stories. i did some of the works there too. you name it. from baja pokok, to tanam pokok, and potong rumput, plus kutip buah yang da masak and sometimes help abah to pasang the pagar..as there are lots of babi kat situ. not just that kind of babi. if you know what i mean. (hur, jaga mulot).

and mama sometimes tends to complain. on how i seldomly help her in kitchen, because i was at abah's kebun. on how anak dara is not suppose to do those kind of things. what will orang kampong cakap. tak manis la. x sopan la. and her unsatisfaction is well conveyed to abah of course.

maybe that is why i am not that interested in masak at first. (at first je ea, because i'm getting myself to it). because i was not trained in the kitchen. but that is definitely not an excuse. since abah is the greatest cook of all. seriously. i should say that mama is the luckiest woman on earth for having a husband like abah. not because he is my abah. but because he could be the greatest man alive. though he tends to be busy now and then. even his weekends are taken away, outstations here and there. meeting everywhere. lots and lots of functions. (trust me, i don't even want to be his secretary). but i know, if he could choose, this situation is definitely not one of his option. it is for our own sakes. and mama definitely drags me to the kitchen everyday. so, in the nutshell, all the blames are on me.

mama should be relief as i am now turning to become a proper girl. no need to act like abah's son, because the truth is, he has none. and i have always trying to be one, because i thought that could makes him happy. but i forget, it's not a son that he needs, but his own children, inheriting his own blood, to be by his side no matter what. it doesn't matter whether it's a girl or a boy.

but that doesn't stops me from going to abah's kebun for sure. it's just a matter of balancing my time at kampung to help my abah and my mama. yes, a busy person i am.

now, that my 3 not so little sisters had grown up, they understand the importance of abah's kebun too. since i was not there, they should be helping abah and mama. even if i was there, they should be doing the same. and this pictures taken from one of my sis's myspace proves it. and i can see that you guys are turning out BIG alright. probably bigger than myself. no offense ea.

and yes, kebun is not only a place for picnic, or where you can enjoy the breathtaking sceneries, or eating the delicious fruits planted.

it's where dreams and goals are planted.
and it grows with love and care.
and you can't do it alone.
with patience and sincerity,
not to mention plain hardworks,
the dreams, will one day,
turn out to be realities.
and i really believe in this, without doubt,
because abah and mama had taught me well.

p/s: i love you. =)

the music won't last

mama loves to forward sweet emails for me. those emails are really precious as it's probably the only thing that keeps me in touch with her, with the exception of ym.
but there is this one email that i found very interesting..

This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.
She wants to see how many people get her poem.
It is quite the poem. Please pass it on
This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital .
It was sent by a medical doctor

SLOW DANCE


Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry- go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.

it is ironic how some people appreciate life when it is about to end. and no matter how many times we are reminded about it, we keep on forgetting that life is short. at the end of the day, we regret on things that we should have done, things that we shouldn't do, things that we did. if life is all about regretting, what's the point of living?

moral of the story:
do the crazy things that you want, go and chase your dreams, tell your beloved ones how much you love them, just enjoy every second of your life,, before it's too late.

and yes,
the music won't last,
hear the music,
before the song is over.

will be.

축하

congrats sis for the spm results.

you sure did way better than me. alhamdulillah.

all your hardworks are well paid.

when i come to think about it,, i was in her exact place a year ago. time sure flies fast. and i do admit, at that time i was a bit ignorant. ignorant about what the future might lead me too. and who would have guess i'll be sitting right here,, million miles away from where i belong. and not to mention being in the course that i've always dream of since i was a little girl. yes, who would have thought.

somehow the song "que sera sera" rings inside my head.

whatever will be, will be,

the future's not ours to see...

ah, and yes. we can never predict the future. though i do have plans a year back, nothing actually goes according to my plan. well, maybe a bit. but alhamdulillah, i've got something way better. it really shows that, if things are meant to be, it will be. and allah really knows what is best for us.

trust me. i know.

i never actually wanted this. stranded here in egypt. the idea of living here itself is a nightmare. i've listened to soooo many stories of this place. and i don't know which side to buy. but one thing i know for sure,, this place,,without no doubt,,,sucks.

but for the sake of learning medicine,, of pursuing my dreams,, i give up on my luxurious life back in malaysia,, ok, not that luxurious, but it's a life i'm happy living in it. with my parents by my side, i had no complications at all.

surprisingly, it is not that bad. i did have some fun here. in fact,,, i am. i am young and free so hell what, a little bit adventures won't hurt. and with all the mara's allowances, i dare say, i am doing great here. though at times, life is not always a beach..(especially, when u're here). but hey,, it is this kind of moments that you will remember most. a story that you will pass on to the next generation.

Now I have children of my own

They ask their mother what will I be

Will I be handsome

will I be rich

I tell them tenderly

Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be will be

The future's not ours to see

Que Sera Sera

What will be will be

and when i have my own kids, i will definitely pass it on what my mama told me. because my mama gets it from my grandma, my grandma gets it from her mom. and she gets it from her mom. and so, and so, and so.

and yes, whatever will be, will be.

we just have to try our best, and leave the rest to allah.

Insyaallah.

counting.

yup. the end of holyday is here. in a few days,, we will be ushering the new sem. yay!
new sem=

• new resolutions
• new groupmates
• new textbooks
• new lecturers
• busier days
• busier days
• busier days
• not to mention busier days
• and owh yes,,closer to malaysia

and each day i'll be counting,

the day i'll be home again.

the day i'll be with my family

see the faces of my beloved ones

back to where i belong.

and insyaallah, the days here will be a breeze,, if i enjoy it.

insyaallah.

a break, at last.

yes, finally,,the end of sem 1 is here.
after a month of answering q's,
trying hard to usyar hum's paper...which i failed to do so..
and mingling with books,
not to mention, a whole lot of chocolates,
and biscuits,,
and eating rice with lauk-pauk at 3 am almost evry day,
berat badan bertambah bagaikan dipam-pam...
and yes my sleepless nights,,,
now, it comes to an end
alhamdulillah.
but not for long,
i only have like 10 days,
i repeat,
10 precious DAYS.
and i need to spend it wisely.
9 days left, and unfortunately,
i'm broke..
haha..but credits to mara for giving us our allowances at the right time..
u guys sure know what's best for us..
so here i am, how to have fun in 10 days..haha..