the hardest thing

just now, i end up telling someone about one of my housemates.

he laughed, and said "you will sure miss them, when you're gone"

haihh,, tell me about it.

when i first made the decision. everyone was like "what?, why? something's wrong?"
haha. to be frank, i dont have the exact reason.
i know we are suppose to stay with each other till the 6th year.
i guess, things have changed. the condition might have changed. people change.

how i first thought of it, is still a mystery to me.
but after consulting to a few important people in my life, hehe,
i decided, this is the best way.
and somehow, allah makes everything easy. meaning that insyaAllah, this could be a good thing somehow.

housemates or not, is not a question here.
if your friendship is true, if your love is true,
it will stay for a long long long time,
no matter how things had changed, no matter how many years passed by, no matter where you are.
i always believe in that. because i still have few friends that stays in my heart, eventhough we had parted for yearsss.

because i always move from one place to another since i was little, i have problems in making my friends stay with me. but allah gives me something else, because, i learn how to look on others' sincerity. i mix with all kind of people. through them, that i manage to get where i am today,, and go further insyaAllah.

that's why i'd never afraid of saying goodbye. no matter how hard it is, i learn to let go. because i've been letting go the people i love so many times. each time it gets harder, but somehow, i'd made it. i believe nothing lasts forever. you cannot forever be with the person you are comfortable with. maybe, it's time for you, to not depend so much on other people. or maybe, it's a test to know whether your love for someone is strong or not. though one day, i know i will part with most of us here, my sectionmates, my housemates, my best friends. i believe, we just have to cherish each moments that we have now, while we can. go and create some sweet memories. and when there is a problem arises, never put it behind your back. go and solve it quickly. that's the most important thing in any kind of relationship.

"a friend" means a lot to me. Some people define love as having grades and levels. they tend to put some people on top of another. to me, love,,, is to love, or not to love. putting grades and levels in love is like saying; i love diba more than areqa. or i love abah more than mama. that is not how it goes. what differentiates love from one another is the priorities that we have to that person at that particular time. the commitments that we are giving. like right now, our priorities are to our parents and study.but this does not mean that we should not commited to our friends tooo. it's something that we have to balance. and when we have to choose, choose which is most important at that time. allah wants us to be versatile. if you cannot do this now, how are you going to balance juggling between your career, your parents and siblings, your parents-in-law, siblings-in-law, husband or wife, your children, your colleagues, your friends, your boss, your duty to Allah, the society. haha. everything has to come in mind.

love, is only a feeling. it is worthless, until you are commited with each other truthfully.

that's my way of loving people. because of that, my love will never stop.

i always love you the four gemok-gemok sekalian.
i wish the best for each and one of us.
you guys had never fail in putting such a genuine commitment as long as we are housemates.
may allah leads us to the right way always, insyaAllah.

p/s: nothing's changed. things will always be like when we first met. :)