pride and prejudice

just now, after biochem practical, i went to the market with kimah + sara. yup. same routine for every two weeks. this time we have to buy some vegetables. yup. some.

anyway, we came back by tram and i was standing there next to this girl. She was reading her note book. Well, i'm always kind of curious about things..haha..so i have just a peak on her book..and there i saw this one word,, just one word.."darcy", and i know what it is all about. She was reading on her own review about "pride and prejudice". Guess an exam is coming, and she revises just about anywhere,,

i just can't help it so i asked her. So, there we were, in the tram, having this conversation about jane austen. How she admires her, and yes i am 100% totally agree with her. jane austen is like the greatest writer ever. Come to think about it, i read her novel since i was in lower form. Pride and prejudice is my favourite. read it several times already. a few phrases i memorise by heart.

kind of strange though, there i was talking about jane austen and her novel, with this egyptian girl, in a filthy tram, which i actually never talked about it before with my friends back in malaysia. and yet, there we are, always think we are very broad minded and so educated, when all we ever talked about is about other people, and hawt actors which are also people.haha. and i never ever talked to my friends, well at least some of my friends, about how i really appreciate literatures and poems and shakespeare and arts and jazz. how i really care about those palestinians and world issues and politics and the pollution. because i guess people are not interested in those things. like i don't think my voice will be heard. i'm just an emotional girl, who loves to sleep when there is nothing else to do,, or snuggling in front of my laptop to watch movies, and all the time having earphones in my ears. i cannot make a difference in this world. my existence is nothing. and so i thought.

i cannot go out there, telling everyone to start to care, when me myself here, could not even read a book, not the whole book, just a few pages when exam is coming. and i can't tell my opinions to other people and provoke them to make a change, when me myself could not even cook perfectly for myself. and so again, i thought.

but if i cannot get everyone to care, am i just going to stare, and see the whole world falling down right in front of me... and yet again, there is pride and prejudice. there is pride when i don't want to share my so-little knowledge with other people,,, and there is prejudice when the others think i'm miss-know-it-all,, when i'm actually not so perfect after all.

yes, i'm very down to earth. act like i know nothing. observing people when they are doing mistakes. and don't have the guts to tell them that they,,at some point are wrong. if i can't even make a change to those who i'm closed with, those who i love, how could i ever think of changing the world. dream on hur, dream on.

in the end, i guess, if we want to change the world, which is a must, concerning to the situation of the world right now,, we have to change ourselves first. if each and one of us turn into a better person, the whole world will turn out better. come to think of it, it is not that hard to change the world after all. it's all about teamwork and get everyone does their small part in this. and yes. my existence is vital after all. and so i think.

p/s: pride and prejudice makes me think of mr darcy. i wonder if he ever existed. well, at least
in this era of time.haihh.too good to be true huh.