can't wait. :)

forever in my life

it's the odds. could be.

i've been facing a few struggle with my emotions that put me on test physically, and spiritually.
only to find out that i am weak.
something that is pretty obvious for everyone to see, but not to me.
the thing is, you will never know whether you are strong or weak, until Allah put you on THE TEST.
the level of your strength depends on the severity or the hardship (is much more suitable) of THE TEST.
the harder it is, the stronger you are
but the thing is, just like an examination test, it just cannot determine whether you are smart or not. what makes
THE TEST any different at all? kan?

so i conclude it to one thing,
macam lagu miley cyrus tu,
it aint about how fast i get there,
it aint about what's waiting on the other side,
it's the CLIMB.

it doesnt matter what the end result is,
because that is not your job to predict what the future have for you,
that is allah's job.
so, why dont you put strong faith in Him, and let Him do his job.
and you do yours, that is to work and pray hard.
at the same time, have a little bit fun, so you wont turn out dull.
if the end result is all well, alhamdulillah. you will appreciate things more, because you had worked for it.
you won't take it for granted.
but if it didn't turn out good, then it's ok.
at least you will not regret, because you know you had tried.
and it's simple, it is NEVER MEANT TO BE.
meaning there is something outside there that is just better for you,
but you had not discover it, because it's not the time YET.

i know i look like a helpless soul.
A few close friends tell me that i really look pitiful.
that they hope they can do something for me.
and make my days all right.

i like the idea of people concerning about me.
but the idea that they have on me, is, well, it is definitely something else.
my friends are not the first ones, i have my mother telling me the same thing.
that i need to be a tougher weed. that i am all mushy and softy. eeew. haha.

i know i am a bit fragile. but people should not protect my feelings at all.
i love to accept some frankness from people. i like honest people.
it might hurt, but it wont kill me.
if i dont know the truth, how the hell am i going to improve. (did i just cakap hell. wonder from where did i learn it from. :P)

a few months before, my mother told me that i had loose my optimism.
i cannot deny it, cause i know i was so pessimist.
but the idea is NOT TO GIVE UP.
not on yourself, not on ALLAH.

now i think HUR IS BACK.
a girl fill with dreams and hopes,
never fear to dream and hope for more,
and when the dreams are shattered,
it's ok to be hurt for a while,
and continue to dream.

just like how i get here,
it's all not just about hard work, its about visualising it, dreaming about it.
hoping for it.
at least that is what my parents taught me.
especially abah. he said successful people are those with dreams, those who visualize their goals, and future.

only now, i think i've turn out to be stronger,
i know life is not a fairy tale.
but if you dug deeper, you will learn a lot from a fairy tale.
there is just more than rainbows and butterflies, and prince charming, and evil witch.
it is so much more than that.

and i know, somewhere, somehow, my own fairy tale is waiting for me,(minus the prince charming of course. too charming can create a big mess.haha)
that i need to create my own, it is not something to be discover.

do not afraid to dream,
do not fear of hoping,
do not run away from love,
do not afraid of giving love (eventhough people dont love you back)
do not hate,
do not scared of getting yourself hurt.
because you will be just fine.
it wont kill you.
(unless you planning on comitting suicide which is why we are protected with our iman)

and so, the 2nd year is closing down it's curtain. we are near to the end. just another big speed bump for us to overcome.
that is the final exam of course.
and soon, it will be just another fruitful 4 years more to go. :P

a lot of people telling me that the 3rd year will be much more easier.
well, i dont care. if it is, it's a good thing alhamdulillah.
but if it's not, i'm willing to face and take it as another challenge.
i love new adventure.
i always do. :)

and when everything else fails,
and if you really got no one to turn to (which is so impossible, because i have such wonderful people here to be by my side through thick and thin),
remember that Allah is always there for you.
put your strongest FAITH on Him

thank you to all who help me to get through this year.
it is not a battle for me only, but for all of us.
it's great that we have each other shoulders to lean on.
and it's greater that all of us made it through just fine.
:)

p/s: nothing lasts forever. enjoy, while it lasts. :)

walaupun you hensem,,,

" Dan janganlah kamu nikahi perempuan musyrik, sebelum mereka beriman. Sungguh, hamba sahaya perempuan yang beriman lebih baik daripada perempuan musyrik meskipun dia menarik hatimu. Dan janganlah kamu nikahkan orang (laki-laki) musyrik dgn perempuan yang beriman. Sungguh, hamba sahaya laki-laki yang beriman lebih baik daripada laki-laki musyrik meskipun dia menarik hatimu. Mereka mengajak ke neraka, sedangkan Allah mengajak ke syurga dan ampunan dengan izin-Nya. Allah menerangkan ayat-ayat Nya kepada manusia agar mereka mengambil pengajaran"

Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 221.


sorrry, mungkin kita takde jodoh. :P
mama i pun takkan approve punya. huhu

the hardest thing

just now, i end up telling someone about one of my housemates.

he laughed, and said "you will sure miss them, when you're gone"

haihh,, tell me about it.

when i first made the decision. everyone was like "what?, why? something's wrong?"
haha. to be frank, i dont have the exact reason.
i know we are suppose to stay with each other till the 6th year.
i guess, things have changed. the condition might have changed. people change.

how i first thought of it, is still a mystery to me.
but after consulting to a few important people in my life, hehe,
i decided, this is the best way.
and somehow, allah makes everything easy. meaning that insyaAllah, this could be a good thing somehow.

housemates or not, is not a question here.
if your friendship is true, if your love is true,
it will stay for a long long long time,
no matter how things had changed, no matter how many years passed by, no matter where you are.
i always believe in that. because i still have few friends that stays in my heart, eventhough we had parted for yearsss.

because i always move from one place to another since i was little, i have problems in making my friends stay with me. but allah gives me something else, because, i learn how to look on others' sincerity. i mix with all kind of people. through them, that i manage to get where i am today,, and go further insyaAllah.

that's why i'd never afraid of saying goodbye. no matter how hard it is, i learn to let go. because i've been letting go the people i love so many times. each time it gets harder, but somehow, i'd made it. i believe nothing lasts forever. you cannot forever be with the person you are comfortable with. maybe, it's time for you, to not depend so much on other people. or maybe, it's a test to know whether your love for someone is strong or not. though one day, i know i will part with most of us here, my sectionmates, my housemates, my best friends. i believe, we just have to cherish each moments that we have now, while we can. go and create some sweet memories. and when there is a problem arises, never put it behind your back. go and solve it quickly. that's the most important thing in any kind of relationship.

"a friend" means a lot to me. Some people define love as having grades and levels. they tend to put some people on top of another. to me, love,,, is to love, or not to love. putting grades and levels in love is like saying; i love diba more than areqa. or i love abah more than mama. that is not how it goes. what differentiates love from one another is the priorities that we have to that person at that particular time. the commitments that we are giving. like right now, our priorities are to our parents and study.but this does not mean that we should not commited to our friends tooo. it's something that we have to balance. and when we have to choose, choose which is most important at that time. allah wants us to be versatile. if you cannot do this now, how are you going to balance juggling between your career, your parents and siblings, your parents-in-law, siblings-in-law, husband or wife, your children, your colleagues, your friends, your boss, your duty to Allah, the society. haha. everything has to come in mind.

love, is only a feeling. it is worthless, until you are commited with each other truthfully.

that's my way of loving people. because of that, my love will never stop.

i always love you the four gemok-gemok sekalian.
i wish the best for each and one of us.
you guys had never fail in putting such a genuine commitment as long as we are housemates.
may allah leads us to the right way always, insyaAllah.

p/s: nothing's changed. things will always be like when we first met. :)

i wish i'm not so nice.

told you i'm not an angel.
i will never be one.

sorry.

battle

You thought we'd be fine
All these years gone by
Now you're asking me to listen
Well then tell me 'bout everything
No lies, we're losing time

Cause this is a battle
And its the final last call
It was a trial
You made a mistake we know
Why aren't you sorry,
Why aren't you sorry, why
This can be better
You should be happy, try

You've got them on your side
They won't change their minds
Now its over and i'm feeling like i missed out on everything
I just hope it's worth the fight

dropping rain

because the rain is falling,
it is really okay,
because i couldn't see your tears, it is okay,
because it is okay,
i couldnt hold you back,
because the rain that could erase the painful memories in your heart,
is falling down.





haihhh,, maybe i should hide it,
and never let it out anymore.
never.

p/s: boleh tak jangan hensem sangat. :p

Esok, bila ayah pergi

Mama kata dia nangis baca. Hur tak tau nak kata apa. sebab hur pun sama. Al-Fatihah kepada cousin kak Puteri yang baru kembali ke rahmatullah. Allayharham macam dah tahu dia dah nak pegi. Siap tulis sajak lagi. :(


This message written by my cousin, allahyarham cikgu norazam in his blog september last year...please pass it around as reminder among us...thank you...


Anak-anak ayah
Dengar betu-betul pesan ayah
Lepas ni tak boleh cakap dah
Apabila kelu mulut dan lidah

Sekiranya esok ayah pegi
Jangan le anak ayah tangisi
Tapi kalau sedih di sanubari
Itu tanda anak ayah tetap dihati

Nabi dulupun sedih juga
Bila anak lelaki dia pergi tiga-tiga
Tapi jangan nangis lama sangat
Banyak benda anak ayah kena buat

Sedih lama sangat ayah tak mahu
Sebab tempat ayah pegi tu semua dah tahu
Ayah nak jumpa Dia
Ayah menyahut seruan Nya

Mula-mula sekali
Pasal solat sudahlah pasti
Kena buat setiap hari
Jangan abaikan walau sekali

Anak-anak ayah kena janji
Kena jaga diri sendiri
Ayah serahkan anak-anak pada Allah
Sebagai Penjaga, Pemelihara ayah berserah

Anak-anak ayah

Mama tu kena le dijaga
Waktu susah waktu selesa
Selama ni dia dah berjaga
Membesarkan kamu semua

Kata-kata mama jangan dilawan
Ayah tak de nak dibuat kawan
Lagi satu ayah nak pesan
Mama nak kahwin sila izinkan

Bila ayah dah pergi
Ayah dah tak de sapa-sapa
Kalau anak-anak ayah sudi
Doa-doakan ayah kat sana

Kalau anak-anak ayah simpati
Kirim-kirimlah fatihah
kalau ayah dekat dihati
Rajin-rajinlah bersedekah

Bukannya apa
Ayah dah tak de apa
Amal pun tak seberapa
Dosa yang bertimpa-timpa

Doa-doakanlah ayah
Semoga Allah tak marah
Banyaknya dosa tak tahu nak cakap dah
Soal jawab diharap mudah

Anak-anak ayah dah tahu dah
Ayah nak anak-anak ayah
Jadi hafiz dan hafizah
Jangan hampakan harapan ayah

Nanti bila ayah dah pergi
Anak-anak ayah jangan kelahi
Harta dunia ni macam daki
Semua orang boleh cari
Yang ada tu pakat le kongsi

Amalan setiap malam jangan dilupa
Surah Al Mulk Sejadah selalule baca
Solat malam diteruskan juga
Walau terpaksa bersengkang mata

Al quran dan Sunnah jadi panduan
Ayah ingatkan sebagai bekalan
Tinggalan oleh Rasul junjungan
Buat umat sepanjang zaman

Kawan-kawan ayah tolong beritahukan
Orang bawahan orang atasan
Segala silap tolong maafkan
Maklum le ayahkan Cuma insan

Hutang ayah tolong selesaikan
Guna duit ayah dalam simpanan
Yang baki tu bahagi2kan
Untuk yg hidup jadi bekalan

Ingat le anak-anak ayah nak kata
Pesan ni mesti dikota
Hidup jangan bersengketa
barulah kita tidak derita

Sekian saja pesanan ini
Untuk yang hidup dari yang mati
Ayah ni jangan dilupai
Lawatlah ayah jengukle sesekali

Di pusara ayah menanti
Amal sedikit temani diri
Wasiat ayah sila turuti
Supaya hidup bahagialah diri

p/s: Jangan lupa cium dahi ayah sebelum dikapankan yaa..

ini post khas untuk orang yang busy. :)

takpe.
chaiyok, chaiyok.
i will always be there for you to listen,
whenever you need me, you can just buzz me, or call me.
i know you always call me pun. :)

dont worry bout spending time together,
i know, that day will come soooooon enough.
(i'm the one yang cant wait kot. :P)

and your "busy"ness does not repel me at all,
it brings me closer to you somehow,
because at the end of the day,
or very early in the morning, haha
you will "buzz"ing me around. :P

you are strong, and when you feel like giving up,
you know you can rely on the ONE. :)
Allah.

haihh. i miss you

p/s: buzz slalu masa salah. orang tido lah. :p

sky so high

if my sky should fall,
would you even call?

true love

why bother to find one?
it's within ourselves all along.
it cannot be measure, nor it can be judge.
it's a pure sacred feeling,
and you dont need a single word to prove it.
it just shows.
it shows.

how do you know whether it's true or not?
when the love is blessed by Allah.

:)

chase and like

status pertama
tolong lah jangan kejar saya lagi. rimas lahhhhhh.


status kedua
saya suka awak, awak pun kejar saya juga. maksudnya kita suka sama suka. yay!


status ketiga
awak tak suka saya pun kan? awak suka kejar saya je. bila dah dapat, habis kat situ je la kan?


status keempat
saya suka awak, tapi saya tak suka terkejar-kejar. kalau saya tak kejar awak, tak semestinya saya tak suka awak.


maka, kami dengan sekreatifnya hanya menukar lirik lagu ini jadi yang lain. apa yang kami cakap, takde kene mengena pun dgn apa2. seperti biasa, status kami, sangat mendalamm. haha.
cubalah teka, mana satu the original lyric. :p

kalau saya kawin dengann.....

kalau saya kawin dengan seseorang, macam mana rupa anak saya?



ni anak dgn won bin


anak dgn enrique


anak dgn jude law


anak dgn kim bum boys over flower


anak dgn hayden christensen


anak dgn elijah wood


dengan takeshi apa ntah nama mamat jepun ni


dengan jude law



yang penting, sume anak saya mata bulat2. kene ikut mak dia la kan. walaupun sebnarnya tak bulat sgt pon :p

ok, so nasihat saya, sebelum kawin, sila buat morph dlu.
kene tengok kalau kawin dgn orang tu, boleh dapat anak comel ke tak.
:P
ok. kidding.
lalala.

we are all taken! :p

all the single ladies, put a ring on your finger.

team medical durian girls posing rasmikan cermin toilet baru. :)

the cutey side of husnun nisaku chan. :p

seperti biasa, hanya diba yang makan guna chopsticks. :P

miss irna berangan

the whole section one girls altogether.

excessively happy

dua budak korea?

you are beautiful INSIDE and out, ika :)

3 dara group B

stripeys.

my best view of the new u, well, at least up till now.

have a good day. :)

-END-

letting go is never easy.

but once you succeed to make the first step,
the next step would be much easier,
and the next one,
and the next one.
until you let it go completely.


so dont make me.

p/s: macam co-operativity. sama je la cmtu. :p

jarak dan masa memisahkan alex dan mansurah. memisahkan kita berdua.

sorry. seyes tak pasan.
cmne boleh salah orang. huhu.

thanks for calling.
bukan waney je yg release tension. hur pun sama.
kalau dulu, waney slalu ada dalam bilik, boleh cter pape setiap masa,
sekarang dah tak boleh. :(

tapi takpe. sebab kita masih berada di atas tanah bumi anbia yang sama.
memang ada jodoh la kita. :)

btw, cerita waney sgt memberi inspirasi. hur tau, hur kene bukak langkah. tak boleh duduk diam diri. dah tak boleh dah. hur nak jadi macam waney, insyaAllah.

p/s: datang la cepat alex. hur tau waney busy (org kuat mansurah kan), tapi boleh tak luangkan sedikit masa anda yang berharga bersama ku. :) good luck for your upcoming midterm

mansurah ngn alex takde la jauh sgt. huhu.

ada apa dgn 8?

lapan.
saya lahir bulan 8.
kalau ikut orang cina, ongg punya number.
bagi saya pun ongg juga.
jgn salah anggap. saya tak kurafat. :P

masa tu saya kat UM. wah, tuhan je tau betapa bangganya saya dapat UM. sebab tu U abah saya. dia suka gila bila saya masuk UM. maka dia akan start cerita pasal zaman dulu2 masa dia macho dulu.

biasalah, dah kata rumah saya 15 minit dari UM. maka saya pun daftar awal2. semangat kan. tu yg dapat tingkat paling tinggi skali. tingkat 8. sib baek ada lift. tapi seyes, masa tu tak biasa ngn lift lagi. memang kepala rasa macam kene pusing bila naek lift tiap2 hari.

ni la nak cter ap yg best kat tingkat 8 UM ni.

1) paling tinggi. paling cantik view. especially nampak tasik.

2) bukan tasik je yg nampak. maka kami nampak budak2 laki punya bilik. ye. bilik saya straight dgn budak laki. bukan gatal. tapi kdg2 "terrrrrrrrr"usyar. maka, nampak la segala yang tak patut.

3) tapi view klcc yang tak boleh bla. mak aih, cantik gile klcc pada waktu malam. mmg bilik saya tu paling strategik skali klu nak tgk the romantic view of klcc. haha. memang boleh layan jiwang. :p

bukan je bilik yang best. dah kata rumah dekat. maka saya jadi sangat mengada dan manja. sabtu ahad tak penah duk kat bilik. konfem balik. balik bilik malam pukul 11 ke 12 ke. abah hantar. lepas kuar dgn diowg.
petang2 plak, kadang2 abah dtang bila balik dr office. saja belanja teh tarik. borak2. abah pun sebenarnya msti rindu zaman muda. tu yang slalu dtg tu.

you cannot blame me. dah lama sangat saya rasa asik duk kat asrama. lepas kuar dari muar, saya bertekad taknak jauh dari family. bila dapat UM, it was like a dream come true. maka semangat saya sgt berkobar2 utk dapat 4 flat tuk stay kat UM amik medik. overseas? i'd never even thought of it. memang tak minat.

tapi, memang Allah tak nak bagi saya mengada. asik duk bawah ketiak mama abah je. maka, saya dapat tawaran lah g sini. dah kata sume ditanggung free. takkan nak tolak. pastu, tak payah susah2 nak dpt 4 flat, trus dapat medik. it was kinda hard decision to make. sbb i'd never wanted to leave my family anymore. tapi, Allah tahu yang terbaik.

setibanya saya di sini, maka pabila di ARMA, mereka membahagi bilik kepada sumeorang. semua budak ksp punya nama dah sebut. saya risau, sebab nama saya takde. tengok, nama saya sesat last skali bersama ili ngn iezzaty. tingkat 8. memang ada jodoh betul la dgn 8 ni. tapi mula2, saya takut. sebab saya jauh dr gemuk2 yang 4 orang tu. saya takut kalau saya sorang. saya tak biasa dgn ili n iezzaty. diorang nampak macam baik sgt. saya takut saya tak boleh masuk dgn diowang. dah la otw ke alex, saya laen bas dgn gemuk 4 orang tu. saya rasa sepi. sendiri. keseorangan. time tu, kenal lagi dgn sorang lagi roomate, hakimah. pun nampak mcam baik. camana ni? saya takut dgn orang baik. :p

ni pic first ktowg. haha. mase orientasi 1st year. muka muda gila.

lagi sekali, Allah tahu apa yang terbaik. dia nak saya campur dgn sumeorang. supaya boleh banyak lagi belajar. maka, walaupun kekok pada mulanya, saya tak tau nape, tapi saya boleh masuk dgn diorang dlm masa sekejap sahaja. maka, saya officially, sayang roomies saya. bukan 3 sahaja roomies saya. lepas tu, saya ada additional 3 lagi roomies. fana, nad dgn areqa. ada yang siap angkut laptop, saratoga, sume la naek. :P. kadang2, anis, diba dan in pun join skali. memang bilik paling bising kat tngkat 8 tu. boleh katakan, masa itu saya sgt bahagia. dilimpahi kasih sayang yang mencurah-curah. maka penyakit mengada saya dtg kembali. sebab roomies saya sume suka manjakan saya.


sebab saya suka tido, bila bangun mesti ada orang cakap "hur, jom makan". tu yang gemuk tu. klu bangun tidur, msti dah ada orang siap masak. bahagia nya. mmg bahagia. saya jadi manja. manja dgn mereka semua. macam tuan puteri. sume dah tersiap sedia. kalau bad mood skit, orang dah tanya, "hur ok x?", "kenapa sedih ni?", "ada pape yg kita boleh tolong?", "awak nak pegi mana, awak cakap je", "nak coklat?", "tak paham ke, meh kita ajar awak".

tido pon ramai2. sampai saya dah tak biasa tido sorang. kalau sorang, saya tak leh tido. saya kene tido sempit2 jugak. baru lena. :)

ni time gatal nak rasa cmne ada mak mertua. :P

cikgu yg ajar saya buat sand ball kat pantai. :p

sebab tu, sekali lagi Allah bagi saya peluang untuk mematangkan diri. sebab saya kene pisah dgn diorang. saya tahu saya mengada. nak orang ngada-ngadakan saya. tapi lepas ni, saya kene carik jalan saya sendiri. sebab saya percaya, sekali lagi, Allah tahu apa yg terbaik utk saya. oh, silap. Allah sentiasa tahu apa yg terbaik. saya kene kuat doa je lagi. maka hur dah tak boleh ngada dan manja.

kepada sesape yang suka manjakan saya, saya sangat berterima kasih. sebab saya rasa saya jarang di manja. tapi sebenarnya ramai je yang manjakan saya. kepada roomies tngkat 8 asMARA, sama ada yang official atau tidak, saya rindu kamu semua. walaupun jauh di mata, tapi anda semua sentiasa berada di dalam mediastinum saya. dan anda tidak dapat kemana-mana.


dan kepada housemates sekarang, saya tetap sayang kamu. dari sejak pertama kita bertemu di KSP, sehingga sekarang, mahupun pada masa akan datang. walau apa pun yg terjadi, walau apa pun yang orang kata, walau apa pun tindakan gila yang saya ambil, just remember, i will always love you. and that i can assure you 100%. :)




browsing at our first year pics got me thinking, cerita 1st year laen, 2nd year laen, 3rd year pe cer plak? huhu.