penantian hijau - edisi merdeka

dari tadi bobo mengomel sendirian. sudah lama dia menanti. tetapi tidak kunjung tiba juga.

jam menunjukkan 3.30 petang.

sudah setengah jam berlalu.

"hissshh. apa niiii. asal tak tukar2 lagi ni. buang masa betul la"

entah berapa kali butang-butang itu dipicit. yang kiri. yang kanan. yang atas. yang bawah.

hujan makin lebat. guruh berdentum-dentum.

"kalau macam ni, sampai bila pun takde la ni"

masih lagi kuning. kadang2 ia bertukar menjadi merah buat seketika. tetapi selalunya, ia tetap kuning. hanya bentuknya sahaja berubah-ubah. sekejap bulat. sekejap empat segi. hijau yang dinanti, seperti tidak akan muncul langsung.

"tido lagi bagus kalau camni. lagi-lagi hujan. sejuk je. tension betul la."

ditatapnya jam di dinding sekali lagi. sudah 3.50 petang. bobo hampir putus asa. ya. mungkin dia patut tidur sahaja. mungkin sakit hatinya akan berlalu pergi.

"asal muka anak mama muram je ni? dok tunggu apa kat sini?", tiba-tiba ibu bobo bersuara.

"benda alah ni la. konon piring canggih. tapi tak boleh diharap. time2 hari merdeka jugak la dia nak buat hal".

"sabar la sikit. bila hujan berhenti, ada la tu. lagipun bulan puasa macam ni, tak elok merungut macam tu".

"tengok. dah nak pukul 4 dah. 1 jam tau bobo tunggu. tinggal 1 jam je lagi,. dahlah. bobo nak naek. tulis blog lagi bagus".

bobo campak alat kawalan berbutang-butang itu di atas kerusi. ibunya hanya mampu menggelengkan kepala. belum sempat bobo sampai ke ruang atas, tiba-tiba terdengar suara.

"haaaa, dah ada pun. tapi malas dah la nak tengok. takde mood. merajuk."

mungkin inilah kuning yang dimaksudkan bobo. ketika ini bentuknya segi empat tepat. kadang2 boleh juga jadi bulat.

p/s: mungkin sempena hari kemerdekaan kali ke 53 ni, astro patut meng-upgrade-kan service nya.

atau mungkin,

rakyat malaysia seperti bobo harus sentiasa bersyukur instead of merungut.

selamat menyambut hari kemerdekaan yang ke 53. semoga negara kita terus diberkati oleh allah. malah, moga bertambah lagi keberkatan-Nya pada negara tanah air kita. :)

freee sex education. anyone?

it is the very 1st ramadhan of the year, and alhamdulillah, everything is doing fine up till now.
however, i heard a news that is quite heart breaking at the end of the day.
abah told me that the baby of an ustadz which is a very close friend to our family had died this evening due to a heart congenital anomaly. Al-fatihah.

it was very heart breaking, not only because an innocent baby had not has a chance to live in this world, but the reality itself is a lot more bitter.

thinking that this baby and his parents are fighting with all their might for his survival, i recall the babies where their parents just neglect them, or worse, killing their own babies.

the parents who apparently, brought them into this cruel world *what nowadays seem to be*, decided to take their babies lives. now, i do know, that even some animals, protect and care for their little ones. so, what are these parents? certainly not human.

due to their own stupid mistakes, the actions that they take, the aftermath then, will always lies on the babies that they had made. if they don't want the babies, why even bother producing them at the first place.

owh, and we heard statements like, "i love my boyfriend. the sex that we'd made is a proof of my love to him".
and when the baby comes into this world, your TRUE UNDYING love, are being tested. and tell me, how many couples actually pass the test? close to none. the truth is, people are not very fond of the word responsibilities and commitments. what's more if you are so young.

and then we heard that everyone started to be aware of this big problem that is increasing day by day. people started to give attention and giving ideas to abolish this absurd scenarios.

pregnant school, sex education. bla bla. now, they want us to teach sex to our children? i read the newspaper saying things like, "when they are about 5 or 6 years old, parents should tell their kids, not to touch the opposite sex's private parts".

imagine telling your kids not to go and have random sex, at that kind of age. the children, who initially, knows nothing about sex, starts to wonder. and you might even caught them googling in the net for the definition of sex. owh, and they might find pictures so that they can understand more clearly. AT THE AGE OF 5 OR 6. oh my, what is this world had turn out to be. i mean, are you kidding me? seriusly? and then what? distributing free condoms at schools?

those who get pregnant are the ones who are ignorant. not knowing how to practice safe sex or how to not to get pregnant when having sex. imagine those in the urban areas, who i believe, are more educated. they know the consequences of pregnancy, and they know how to avoid it. now, that is a lot more dangerous. it is not impossible that the youngsters are practicing sex all these times, and the parents know nothing for there is no sign of pregnancy or whatsoever. oh my.

the world had certainly change. just a matter of a year, new roads and buildings were made. 10 years had made a lot of difference. not only the development of the infrastructure, but also the mentality and the society of the nation.

back when i was a little girl, my parents had never spoke the word "sex" in front of me. i do admit, i heard it from my friends since primary school. but i'd never paid attention anyway. i 1st read about it, from a form 3 text book, when i was just about 10. and that's when i truly understand the reproductive system, and how babies are made. of course, the television, will give lots of exposure on this matter. but those days, even kissing scene were censored in the national tv channel. nowadays, we have astro, and DVDs, owh, and yeah, the internet of course. a world without boundaries. did i mention, the video games, are just seriously outrageous?

and whatever happens to the religious class? come on. haven't people heard things such as "hukum orang berzina" or things like "dosa-dosa besar" which includes "bunuh" in the list? are they not scared? people just getting a lot braver these days, or should i say uncivilised, or stupid. we are acting worse than like back to the time of jahilliyah. ya allah, what is happening?

i have to say, sex education is not our main issue. RELIGIOUS EDUCATION IS WHAT IS. let's start from the basic. we heard it so many times. prevention is better than cure. let's apply it, shall we.

while young people like me, should not be ignorant. for you might say, "my days are over. i am so glad, i am not the youngsters that have to deal with these kind of situations." well guess what. stop being selfish. because, everyone is going to have kids, and grand kids, and great grand kids.
i don't want my children to face all these. i am sure you don't want it too.

it is ramadhan everyone. let's pray that our human race is blessed by Allah. let's reflect to our own weakness, and start improving it. let's just refer to the basic guide of life, Al-Quran and As-Sunnah, for what we all know, that is the only truth that is left in this world.

wallahu alam.

cinta teragung.

"On another occasion A'isha asked him if she had been the only woman worthy of his love, and Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) replied in an honest burst of tenderness." She believed in me when nobody else did, she embraced Islam when people disbelieved me and she helped me and comforted me when there was none to lend me a helping hand." This incident is described by Carlyle in these words: "He never forget this good Khadijah. Long afterwards, A'isha, his young and favorite wife, a woman who indeed distinguished herself among the Muslims by all manner of qualities through her whole life; this young and brilliant A'isha was, one day, questioning him. Now am I not better than Khadijah? She was a widow; old, and had lost her looks; you love me better than you did her? 'No, by God!' answered Muhammad, she believed in me when none else would believe. In the whole world I had but one friend, and she was that. "2 He adds, "He seems to have lived in a most affectionate, peaceable, wholesome way with this wedded benefaction, loving her truly, and her alone. "2 There are many incidents in the books of hadith and tarikh which throw some light on the depth of the feeling of natural love and affection between Muhammad (Peace & Prayers Be Upon Him) and Khadijah."


this is still my favourite love story, far much greater than any fairy tales compile together.
and it will always, be.

sources:
http://latahzanwalakhauf.blogspot.com/2010/04/khadijah-bint-khuwailid-first-lady-of.html

my moks moks.

mok mata bulat

mok poser

mok ngade n manja sebab dia the youngest. :P

yeah, yeah, ladies power. :P
but abah still the macho-est, the strong-est, the gagah-est.
and of course he is sebab dia ada 1 permaisuri,
and 4 dayang2 to urut2 him and to support him all the way insyaAllah.
kan abah kan? :)

"I love the way you love me - Boyzone"

What will your verse be?

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute.
We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.
And the human race is filled with passion.
And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life.
But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring;
of the endless trains of the faithless…
of cities filled with the foolish;
what good amid these, O me, O life?”
Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity;
that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.
That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse.
What will your verse be?

adakah kesibukan patut dijadikan alasan?

saya rindu kamu, kamu semua.


ya. saya tak tipu. :)

MATI

the news that i'd recently heard about one of my colleague gives me a real big impact.
as usual, biasanya lepas dgr berita cmtu, mesti rasa takut, risau, sedih, sayu.
but an article i'd read just now gives me a specific answer.

1. Islam tak mengajar kita takut dengan kematian tetapi menyedari adanya kematian di hadapan maka HARGAILAH SEBUAH KEHIDUPAN
2. Teringat kepada perbualan saya dengan ibu bapa yang anak mereka sakit jantung – jangan difikir ajal anak itu kerana mungkin doktor mati dulu kemalangan. Mungkin ibu bapa mati dulu. Mungkin saya mati dulu berbanding anak kecil yang sakit itu. Justeru janganlah dibimbangkan tentang kematian. Sebaliknya hargai setiap detik yang ada.
3. Nabi SAW bersabda: صلِّ صلاة مودِّع كأنك تراه ، فإن كنت لا تراه فإنه يراك yakni “bersolatlah kamu dengan solat perpisahan seolah-olah kamu melihat Allah. Jika kamu tidak dapat merasakan yang kamu melihat-Nya, sekurang-kurangnya rasakanlah bahawa Dia itu melihat kamu”.
4. Kita akan mati di antara dua solat. Tiada jaminan selesai solat Asar, kita sempat sampai ke Maghrib. Justeru setiap solat, lakukanlah ia sebagai solat terbaikmu.
5. Justeru janganlah dipanggil bakal Datuk kerana mungkin tidak jadi Datuk. Jangan dipanggil bakal Puan Seri kerana mungkin tidak jadi Puan Seri.
6. Sebaliknya, WAHAI BAKAL-BAKAL JENAZAH sekalian! Itulah saya dan anda semua.

courtesy from http://saifulislam.com/?p=8285#more-8285

bersedia je. bila-bila pun dia boleh datang jemput. wallahualam.

" ya Allah, seandainya kau ingin mengambil nyawa orang2 yang aku sayang, kau tariklah nyawa mereka ketika mana jiwaku dan imanku kuat. dan jika kau ingin tarik nyawa ku, tarik lah nyawaku, di saat aku sudah bersedia. Sesungguhnya, hanya kau lah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kami. Amin"

hah, amik, amik ko. amik. :P

i will fly

i will fly into your arms
and be with you til the end of time
why are you so far away
you know it’s very hard for me
to get myself close to you



i am addicted to fly.
haihhh.
just the thought of flying makes me all dreamy and high
:)

can't wait. :)

forever in my life

it's the odds. could be.

i've been facing a few struggle with my emotions that put me on test physically, and spiritually.
only to find out that i am weak.
something that is pretty obvious for everyone to see, but not to me.
the thing is, you will never know whether you are strong or weak, until Allah put you on THE TEST.
the level of your strength depends on the severity or the hardship (is much more suitable) of THE TEST.
the harder it is, the stronger you are
but the thing is, just like an examination test, it just cannot determine whether you are smart or not. what makes
THE TEST any different at all? kan?

so i conclude it to one thing,
macam lagu miley cyrus tu,
it aint about how fast i get there,
it aint about what's waiting on the other side,
it's the CLIMB.

it doesnt matter what the end result is,
because that is not your job to predict what the future have for you,
that is allah's job.
so, why dont you put strong faith in Him, and let Him do his job.
and you do yours, that is to work and pray hard.
at the same time, have a little bit fun, so you wont turn out dull.
if the end result is all well, alhamdulillah. you will appreciate things more, because you had worked for it.
you won't take it for granted.
but if it didn't turn out good, then it's ok.
at least you will not regret, because you know you had tried.
and it's simple, it is NEVER MEANT TO BE.
meaning there is something outside there that is just better for you,
but you had not discover it, because it's not the time YET.

i know i look like a helpless soul.
A few close friends tell me that i really look pitiful.
that they hope they can do something for me.
and make my days all right.

i like the idea of people concerning about me.
but the idea that they have on me, is, well, it is definitely something else.
my friends are not the first ones, i have my mother telling me the same thing.
that i need to be a tougher weed. that i am all mushy and softy. eeew. haha.

i know i am a bit fragile. but people should not protect my feelings at all.
i love to accept some frankness from people. i like honest people.
it might hurt, but it wont kill me.
if i dont know the truth, how the hell am i going to improve. (did i just cakap hell. wonder from where did i learn it from. :P)

a few months before, my mother told me that i had loose my optimism.
i cannot deny it, cause i know i was so pessimist.
but the idea is NOT TO GIVE UP.
not on yourself, not on ALLAH.

now i think HUR IS BACK.
a girl fill with dreams and hopes,
never fear to dream and hope for more,
and when the dreams are shattered,
it's ok to be hurt for a while,
and continue to dream.

just like how i get here,
it's all not just about hard work, its about visualising it, dreaming about it.
hoping for it.
at least that is what my parents taught me.
especially abah. he said successful people are those with dreams, those who visualize their goals, and future.

only now, i think i've turn out to be stronger,
i know life is not a fairy tale.
but if you dug deeper, you will learn a lot from a fairy tale.
there is just more than rainbows and butterflies, and prince charming, and evil witch.
it is so much more than that.

and i know, somewhere, somehow, my own fairy tale is waiting for me,(minus the prince charming of course. too charming can create a big mess.haha)
that i need to create my own, it is not something to be discover.

do not afraid to dream,
do not fear of hoping,
do not run away from love,
do not afraid of giving love (eventhough people dont love you back)
do not hate,
do not scared of getting yourself hurt.
because you will be just fine.
it wont kill you.
(unless you planning on comitting suicide which is why we are protected with our iman)

and so, the 2nd year is closing down it's curtain. we are near to the end. just another big speed bump for us to overcome.
that is the final exam of course.
and soon, it will be just another fruitful 4 years more to go. :P

a lot of people telling me that the 3rd year will be much more easier.
well, i dont care. if it is, it's a good thing alhamdulillah.
but if it's not, i'm willing to face and take it as another challenge.
i love new adventure.
i always do. :)

and when everything else fails,
and if you really got no one to turn to (which is so impossible, because i have such wonderful people here to be by my side through thick and thin),
remember that Allah is always there for you.
put your strongest FAITH on Him

thank you to all who help me to get through this year.
it is not a battle for me only, but for all of us.
it's great that we have each other shoulders to lean on.
and it's greater that all of us made it through just fine.
:)

p/s: nothing lasts forever. enjoy, while it lasts. :)

walaupun you hensem,,,

" Dan janganlah kamu nikahi perempuan musyrik, sebelum mereka beriman. Sungguh, hamba sahaya perempuan yang beriman lebih baik daripada perempuan musyrik meskipun dia menarik hatimu. Dan janganlah kamu nikahkan orang (laki-laki) musyrik dgn perempuan yang beriman. Sungguh, hamba sahaya laki-laki yang beriman lebih baik daripada laki-laki musyrik meskipun dia menarik hatimu. Mereka mengajak ke neraka, sedangkan Allah mengajak ke syurga dan ampunan dengan izin-Nya. Allah menerangkan ayat-ayat Nya kepada manusia agar mereka mengambil pengajaran"

Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 221.


sorrry, mungkin kita takde jodoh. :P
mama i pun takkan approve punya. huhu

the hardest thing

just now, i end up telling someone about one of my housemates.

he laughed, and said "you will sure miss them, when you're gone"

haihh,, tell me about it.

when i first made the decision. everyone was like "what?, why? something's wrong?"
haha. to be frank, i dont have the exact reason.
i know we are suppose to stay with each other till the 6th year.
i guess, things have changed. the condition might have changed. people change.

how i first thought of it, is still a mystery to me.
but after consulting to a few important people in my life, hehe,
i decided, this is the best way.
and somehow, allah makes everything easy. meaning that insyaAllah, this could be a good thing somehow.

housemates or not, is not a question here.
if your friendship is true, if your love is true,
it will stay for a long long long time,
no matter how things had changed, no matter how many years passed by, no matter where you are.
i always believe in that. because i still have few friends that stays in my heart, eventhough we had parted for yearsss.

because i always move from one place to another since i was little, i have problems in making my friends stay with me. but allah gives me something else, because, i learn how to look on others' sincerity. i mix with all kind of people. through them, that i manage to get where i am today,, and go further insyaAllah.

that's why i'd never afraid of saying goodbye. no matter how hard it is, i learn to let go. because i've been letting go the people i love so many times. each time it gets harder, but somehow, i'd made it. i believe nothing lasts forever. you cannot forever be with the person you are comfortable with. maybe, it's time for you, to not depend so much on other people. or maybe, it's a test to know whether your love for someone is strong or not. though one day, i know i will part with most of us here, my sectionmates, my housemates, my best friends. i believe, we just have to cherish each moments that we have now, while we can. go and create some sweet memories. and when there is a problem arises, never put it behind your back. go and solve it quickly. that's the most important thing in any kind of relationship.

"a friend" means a lot to me. Some people define love as having grades and levels. they tend to put some people on top of another. to me, love,,, is to love, or not to love. putting grades and levels in love is like saying; i love diba more than areqa. or i love abah more than mama. that is not how it goes. what differentiates love from one another is the priorities that we have to that person at that particular time. the commitments that we are giving. like right now, our priorities are to our parents and study.but this does not mean that we should not commited to our friends tooo. it's something that we have to balance. and when we have to choose, choose which is most important at that time. allah wants us to be versatile. if you cannot do this now, how are you going to balance juggling between your career, your parents and siblings, your parents-in-law, siblings-in-law, husband or wife, your children, your colleagues, your friends, your boss, your duty to Allah, the society. haha. everything has to come in mind.

love, is only a feeling. it is worthless, until you are commited with each other truthfully.

that's my way of loving people. because of that, my love will never stop.

i always love you the four gemok-gemok sekalian.
i wish the best for each and one of us.
you guys had never fail in putting such a genuine commitment as long as we are housemates.
may allah leads us to the right way always, insyaAllah.

p/s: nothing's changed. things will always be like when we first met. :)

i wish i'm not so nice.

told you i'm not an angel.
i will never be one.

sorry.

battle

You thought we'd be fine
All these years gone by
Now you're asking me to listen
Well then tell me 'bout everything
No lies, we're losing time

Cause this is a battle
And its the final last call
It was a trial
You made a mistake we know
Why aren't you sorry,
Why aren't you sorry, why
This can be better
You should be happy, try

You've got them on your side
They won't change their minds
Now its over and i'm feeling like i missed out on everything
I just hope it's worth the fight

dropping rain

because the rain is falling,
it is really okay,
because i couldn't see your tears, it is okay,
because it is okay,
i couldnt hold you back,
because the rain that could erase the painful memories in your heart,
is falling down.





haihhh,, maybe i should hide it,
and never let it out anymore.
never.

p/s: boleh tak jangan hensem sangat. :p

Esok, bila ayah pergi

Mama kata dia nangis baca. Hur tak tau nak kata apa. sebab hur pun sama. Al-Fatihah kepada cousin kak Puteri yang baru kembali ke rahmatullah. Allayharham macam dah tahu dia dah nak pegi. Siap tulis sajak lagi. :(


This message written by my cousin, allahyarham cikgu norazam in his blog september last year...please pass it around as reminder among us...thank you...


Anak-anak ayah
Dengar betu-betul pesan ayah
Lepas ni tak boleh cakap dah
Apabila kelu mulut dan lidah

Sekiranya esok ayah pegi
Jangan le anak ayah tangisi
Tapi kalau sedih di sanubari
Itu tanda anak ayah tetap dihati

Nabi dulupun sedih juga
Bila anak lelaki dia pergi tiga-tiga
Tapi jangan nangis lama sangat
Banyak benda anak ayah kena buat

Sedih lama sangat ayah tak mahu
Sebab tempat ayah pegi tu semua dah tahu
Ayah nak jumpa Dia
Ayah menyahut seruan Nya

Mula-mula sekali
Pasal solat sudahlah pasti
Kena buat setiap hari
Jangan abaikan walau sekali

Anak-anak ayah kena janji
Kena jaga diri sendiri
Ayah serahkan anak-anak pada Allah
Sebagai Penjaga, Pemelihara ayah berserah

Anak-anak ayah

Mama tu kena le dijaga
Waktu susah waktu selesa
Selama ni dia dah berjaga
Membesarkan kamu semua

Kata-kata mama jangan dilawan
Ayah tak de nak dibuat kawan
Lagi satu ayah nak pesan
Mama nak kahwin sila izinkan

Bila ayah dah pergi
Ayah dah tak de sapa-sapa
Kalau anak-anak ayah sudi
Doa-doakan ayah kat sana

Kalau anak-anak ayah simpati
Kirim-kirimlah fatihah
kalau ayah dekat dihati
Rajin-rajinlah bersedekah

Bukannya apa
Ayah dah tak de apa
Amal pun tak seberapa
Dosa yang bertimpa-timpa

Doa-doakanlah ayah
Semoga Allah tak marah
Banyaknya dosa tak tahu nak cakap dah
Soal jawab diharap mudah

Anak-anak ayah dah tahu dah
Ayah nak anak-anak ayah
Jadi hafiz dan hafizah
Jangan hampakan harapan ayah

Nanti bila ayah dah pergi
Anak-anak ayah jangan kelahi
Harta dunia ni macam daki
Semua orang boleh cari
Yang ada tu pakat le kongsi

Amalan setiap malam jangan dilupa
Surah Al Mulk Sejadah selalule baca
Solat malam diteruskan juga
Walau terpaksa bersengkang mata

Al quran dan Sunnah jadi panduan
Ayah ingatkan sebagai bekalan
Tinggalan oleh Rasul junjungan
Buat umat sepanjang zaman

Kawan-kawan ayah tolong beritahukan
Orang bawahan orang atasan
Segala silap tolong maafkan
Maklum le ayahkan Cuma insan

Hutang ayah tolong selesaikan
Guna duit ayah dalam simpanan
Yang baki tu bahagi2kan
Untuk yg hidup jadi bekalan

Ingat le anak-anak ayah nak kata
Pesan ni mesti dikota
Hidup jangan bersengketa
barulah kita tidak derita

Sekian saja pesanan ini
Untuk yang hidup dari yang mati
Ayah ni jangan dilupai
Lawatlah ayah jengukle sesekali

Di pusara ayah menanti
Amal sedikit temani diri
Wasiat ayah sila turuti
Supaya hidup bahagialah diri

p/s: Jangan lupa cium dahi ayah sebelum dikapankan yaa..

ini post khas untuk orang yang busy. :)

takpe.
chaiyok, chaiyok.
i will always be there for you to listen,
whenever you need me, you can just buzz me, or call me.
i know you always call me pun. :)

dont worry bout spending time together,
i know, that day will come soooooon enough.
(i'm the one yang cant wait kot. :P)

and your "busy"ness does not repel me at all,
it brings me closer to you somehow,
because at the end of the day,
or very early in the morning, haha
you will "buzz"ing me around. :P

you are strong, and when you feel like giving up,
you know you can rely on the ONE. :)
Allah.

haihh. i miss you

p/s: buzz slalu masa salah. orang tido lah. :p

sky so high

if my sky should fall,
would you even call?

true love

why bother to find one?
it's within ourselves all along.
it cannot be measure, nor it can be judge.
it's a pure sacred feeling,
and you dont need a single word to prove it.
it just shows.
it shows.

how do you know whether it's true or not?
when the love is blessed by Allah.

:)